I am a mum of 2 boys 6 and 2. My husband has been battling a codeine addiction now for around 3 years. He chemist shops, always pops out to the "shops" at stressful times like witching hour, and hides tablets. However over the years he is much better at hiding the evidence. I got him to a dr once and he admitted he was taking 40 at a time. But he just denies the addiction and somehow twists the situation where I end up somehow feeling bad about the accusations, even though I have proof of packets, receipts etc. He is not there for me physically or emotionally but claims he loves me. Last weekend I found messages to a girl saying he once had feelings for her and she admitted the same. He said he did it because he knows I snoop, he had no remorse at all about it, in fact he shows very little emotion and is numb most of the time. Anyway, today I found empty hidden packets of my medication which is pbs approved and difficult to obtain. I am so hurt that he would steal my medication. I think I need us to separate. We have tried counselling but nothing is changing and he refuses to acknowledge his addiction. How do we separate when we have a huge mortgage and have built this life together? Our family is interstate. I wanted to be here for him, but he won't change. My anxiety and worry is through the roof. Any advise on staying or going and how we can separate, and how to afford it? I don't know what else to do.
My husband has a codeine addiction. How do I go about separating?
My husband has a codeine addiction. How do I go about separating?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Behaviour
4 Replies
Go see a financial counsellor. They don't sell products but they will be able to offer the correct advice for your financial situation. There is always a way to leave though. My advice would be for you to both rent cheaper places and find a tenant for the house that will more than likely cover the mortgage payments. Or you sell up. Its just what you do.
If you are not currently working you will get parenting payment single which should be enough to get your feet on the ground. The rest of the financial stuff gets sorted out once you separate. I think separating is the right thing to do before he drags the whole family down financially and psychologically. It probably wouldn't hurt to get some legal advice and a counsellor for yourself so you have ongoing support.
Excellent advice
Hi. I am currently in an unhealthy and abusive relationship. But you should call your local womens refuge. Regardless this is unhealthy and dealing with someone who has mental health issues. You should take precautions when leaving. Especially addicts and abusers..etc... They can give you some great advice and can help you with access the the most effective ways to go about leaving. I do think you are absolutely making the right decision. Sorry. I know how it is to be stuck. Sending you lots of support xx keep strong
You poor poor person. I've been through this exact scenario with my now ex husband and I lost it one day when I found he had stolen his fathers cancer medication pain killers on top of the 60/80 mersyndol tablets daily, hospital trips stomach pumps, eventually he locked himself in the spare room he had been sleeping in for one year and couldn't be woken for an important appt until the next day. I asked him to go to his parents and calmly and methodically told him I'd had enough. He was still in denial and blamed me. Anyhow he left and I changed the locks told him not to come back and we were done and would call police if he came back. I thought no way would he not come back but you know what, he was so tired and stuffed on these drugs he never had any go to make an effort to save us. We seperated and went to a lawyer who estimated split, and signed divorce papers at the same time and that was that. He contacted his one year old son weekly for a while , then monthly then six monthly, his son is now ten, and we haven't heard from him in three years. We send photos etc but nothing. In all honesty, it's a massive relief and our son loves his step dad and understands his bio dad made some wrong decisions which unfortunately meant he found it difficult to keep in touch. Take care, and sorry to say I support one hundred percent leaving and see a lawyer (first visit should only be about $200) and although its ALOT it wills save you in the long run.