Hello IMs, I'm a 25yr old with a 2 year old daughter and I have a very BIG problem. My weight! Currently sitting over 140kg and life is a struggle. Hard to breath, walk, climb stairs, even getting in and out of the car let alone running after all the kids at work. I've dieted, exercised, hell I've ever done personal training but nothing has worked for me. I always end up fatter. I want to be a role model to my daughter, I want to inspire her not embarrass her. I need help but I don't know where to turn, my doctor who has been treating me since I was 13 has suggested gastric sleeve surgery and I do think this is a good option for me but that's a lot of money I don't have and this is a problem now, not 5years time when I have the 20k saved for surgery. I'm looking for a sustainable way for me to lose weight. Please no judgement, I've been over the 100kg mark for 10years now and it's not from a lack of trying. I really do want to improve my life not just for myself (although that is a huge reason) but also for my family, I want more kids but not at this size.
12 Replies
I've struggled with my weight since my early 20s and am now in my early 40s.
The thing I learnt along the way was I had to work out why I was over eating. Was I over eating to deal with my emotions, did I have no idea what a portion size should look like, did I know how to cook healthily and did I know how to set myself up for success rather than failure.
The first step for me was my mental health. With the help of a psychologist I was able to identify emotional triggers for eating, basically any emotion there was I used food to suffocate! I had to learn healthy reactions to sadness, tiredness, boredom you name it. I also at the same time cleared the house out if triggering foods, crisps, lollies, chocolate all went! I went to see a nutritionist who wrote me a diet based on food I like to eat and not some ridiculous fad diet from the internet. It was designed for slow weight loss. I changed my behaviour gradually over time. I write a menu for the week that I will cook so I don't have to think about it when I get home.
Once I'd done all that and felt I had that under control I got myself a pedometer so I could measure my steps. I started about 1000 steps a day which is pathetic but gradually worked my way up to 10000 steps a day. Now I'm at 15000 steps a day. I finally had the confidence to get a personal trainer and join a gym and am loving it.
The big lesson for me was if I made all the changes at once I couldn't keep it up. Making one change until that became routine and then adding a new change has been sustainable for me. It's not a quick fix but I'm learning how to live the rest of my life not live for 6 months.
Ive had friends who have had the gastric sleeve it's helped them, they got it on the public weight list and it cost them nothing so have a look into it. I've struggled with my weight since i was 15 now almost 30. I recently cut out all carbs, sugars and grains out if my diet. I don't snack on chips or anything of the sort. If I get the munchies I grab a handful of nuts (cashews and macadamia) and eat them all down instead. I walk between 8 to 12 Kms a day with my 2 yr old in a pram but you can always start off with less a friend is walking 1-2 Kms a day and is still seeing results. I do have a cheat day where I can eat cake if I want to but I now find that it upsets my stomach and I'd rather not eat it. See if you can find yourself a kinesiologist/chiropractor they are really helpful in helping you find a way to make your life healthier. I've started seeing results my clothes are falling off, or now fitting right. You have to really want it and not get disheartened when you don't loose weight one week. It's all about the mind. I don't know how much I weigh anymore but I don't use scales I find they make me go backwards. Especially if I have a good week. So I have come up with a plan of attack to monitor it. I'm going to get a friend to weigh me and write it down over the next 2 months. All I'm gonna ask her is that she not tell me how much I weigh. Just write it down. And whe I get to my goal weight if 70kilos she can tell me to stop loosing and starting toning. I started off at 105. I used to be 120kilos at my heaviest 10 years ago.
Cut down on sugar and carbs (carbs have hidden sugar), decease meal sizes, plump up meals with lots of vegies (not potato but lots green vegies) don't do any diet, do a lifestyle change forever for your whole family (not just for you, the kids will fight it but if you don't have any junk food in the house then there no other option). Smaller plates will make your dinner look larger. I base our dinners on, 1/4meat, 1/2 vegies and 1/4 carb (usually sweet potato). If you do a pasta or rice dish, serve it with vegies on the side so your still getting your pasta dish but your not eating as much cuz you've got a heap of vegies to eat too.
Look at labels at the carb and sugar content you'll be surprised how much sugar is in things considered fat free (fat free but full of sugar).
Lots of fresh fruit and vegies, lean meats, fish etc. snacks on nuts (not peanuts, something like almonds). Give yourself a treat every week tho, have a treat meal so you aren't giving up everything you love entirely. It will help you feel like your not on a diet as you can still have the foods you love just not everyday. I've just started to reduce the sugar in my baking, like making muffins I've half'd the sugar and the kids don't even know the difference.
I want to wish you the best of luck and hope you can get your weight under control not just for you but your daughter too.
I wouldn't mind betting you have some metabolic damage. If you've dieted and done all of the above and still not lost weight, there will be an underlying cause for that. Having gastric sleeve surgery won't fix it permanently - it may work for about 6-12 months but then you'll find you plateau and possibly even start to gain weight again (I know this as a family member is currently going through this, unfortunately he had to have the surgery for serious medical reasons).
Look up a group called Recomp. They specialise in getting your metabolism back on track - if nothing else it would be worth having a chat to them to see if they can help. Good luck :)
Mindset, Mindset, Mindset is all I can say. Nothing will work while your head is elsewhere. Get onto Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation and get your head straight and everything else will follow! Good luck, you can do this WITHOUT surgery I think - be strong, stick to something and be that role model you want to be. Hugs to you!
No judgment here. Loosing weight is hard, but the only way to loose weight is to STOP EATING. No matter how much you exercise if you don't reduce your calorie intake and portion size and eat the right foods you will not loose weight. Gastric surgery is no solution if you don't eat right you will still be fat and would have had surgery for nothing. Gastric surgery is not a quick fix. YOU NEED TO DIET AND EXERCISE. Get the app calorie king and eat 1600 calories a day and exercise. It will be hard for a week or so, then you will get used to it. Eat lots of veg, google healthy foods for weight loss. If you don't have any medical conditions, it is your choice to be fat and unfit. So if you are unhappy with your weight do something about it.
Sorry but this is completely incorrect. You do NOT need to stop eating to lose weight. If you can increase the amount of exercise you're doing then you can continue eating the amount you currently are (although you may want to look at changing what you eat). The more energy you expend, the more calories you burn, therefore no need to cut food. IF after doing extra exercise for a while you start to plateau, THEN you cut your calories back by a maximum of 500. Repeat - increase exercise, wait for the plateau, then decrease calories. But there comes a point where continuing to cut calories is extremely unhealthy...
I am currently over 140kg and have a 2yr old. Weight Watchers is my answer. I've tried prescription medication, Optifast etc. short term result but then I just put it back on.
WW works for me because you are accountable and have to weigh in every week. Also nothing is off limits. They teach moderation not limitation and you meet a great group of people at the meetings that you can talk to and share with.
I've lost 8kg in 10weeks and 4cm off my hips and waist due to my swimming.
At this rate I'm hoping to lose 30kg by the end of the year and 30kg next year. Slow sustainable weight loss is the only way to go.
Also weight loss is 80% diet and 20% exercise. So find something you enjoy doing to keep you fit and active, but without the change in diet you won't lose weight.
Get yourself private health insurance, it will cut the cost of gastric sleeve surgery. My mum had it done about 5 years ago and didn't cost any more than $ 5,000. She was 110kg and lost so much weight she got down to 60kg!! It was the best thing she ever did. You need to do this for yourself and not worry about the negative people xx
At the end of last year I hit nearly 120kgs. I was had no energy and was cranky. I ended up joining weight watchers and since joining at new years I have dropped 16kgs. I have a lot more to go but have found it fairly simple to follow and am motivated to keep going. I found going to meetings really helps me keep motivated.
Just make sure you go to a meeting where you like the coach. I went to a few meetings before I met my favorite.
Good luck with your journey. I have heaps more energy to play with my kids now.
I hear you, I was at my wits end at 130kg and tried everything and anything for years, I couldn't even achieve results for my wedding day. I was at the point where I too was considering bariatric surgery but after investigating the side effects was running for the hills. I was extremely lucky that a friend introduced me to a nutritional cleansing program around this time and now I am 30kg down on my goals and absolutely loving life!! Please don't do bariatric surgery it teaches you nothing and you still have to lose approx 30% of your weight the hard way. It is so hard to get your nutrition right on such small meals.
I would love to connect with you if you would like to discuss options - health_revolution@bigpond.com
I was 130kgs it took 10 yrs starting at 90 to get there. I hated it dieted exercised nothing worked. Later in my weight gain I learnt something that floored me. My walking habit of all things. How can you do that wrong. I was walking to fast I was advised to slow down keep my heart rate under 140. This enables the body to burn exsisting fats not just the energy youve eaten that day. I took up swimming and walking the length of the local pool. At this point I lost 5kgs. In a month. I fell pregnant with my first and all my hard work got lost. Near 2 years later and with fertlity problems weighing in at 130kg I did it. I HAD SURGERY. Now Im not saying do it but it has changed my life.
Having a gastric sleeve done is irreversible so you have to be 100% informed and aware.
It is by no means an easy way out people who think this are clueless and ill informed.
It is a daily struggle to maintain a routine. To be clear you cannot drink 30 mins prior to food or for 1 hour after eating. And the daily water intake is 2litres. Try anything different and you will likely make yourself sick. So going out to a restaurant its wine or dinner. Not much fun if the people you go out with eat like starving Ethiopians either as you will be left eating while everyone waits for you. And then if the entree youve ordered is finished that can be an accomplishment in its self. You most likely wont be able to finish it.
The good I have lost 40kgs and now expecting my 2nd baby. Not recommended till 2yrs after surgery. Im naughty. The reason being its high risk for malnutrition for bub n mum. So this in itself makes my journey harder. I need to eat I need to drink and it feels thats what my day involves. Mentally this is a head f#@$ as the whole idea was to eat less lol.
Loose skin can be an issue for some im on the lucky end of that scale. After this pregnancy im hitting the gym to build a bit of muscle to help lessing the hang. But im ok at my age it all starts to go south anyway. At 25 your skin can still bounce back its a plus.
Yes you can gain weight back. Eat the wrong foods and it will have been for nothing. Why people do this after such a lifechanging decision beats me. But its all up to you its your choice how you chose to be.
The first 6weeks after surgery are hard. Shakes and purees.You learn to retrain your brain you will be hungry and need to learn if that hunger is thirst or actual hunger. If your hungry you cant rush it. Chew chew chew until you cant chew anymore. 2 or 5 chomps then swallow will surely see you vomitting. Its hard work. I had a day where I devoured a whole maccas cheeseburger in an hour. I was chuffed with myself. Its not in my regular diet but hey you gotta have some crap food too. And a whole burger small as they are is huge. There is so many pros and cons on the new eating habits from not liking foods you once loved to craving salty one day to sweet the next and not being able to handle spicy or fatty.
Now a simple start for you would be to see a dietician who works with bariatric paitents. Get a full picture of what is involved knowledge is power. And ask if they could assist you with the pre surgery diet. This seems like a secret diet no one knows about that works. I lost 12kgs in 4/6weeks. Its OPTIFAST available at most chemist. Its not cheap and you have to be sooooo committed. Its not a quick fix though but will help kick start weightloss for you. Again its not cheap save up first so you can get a good length of time on it. Seeing a dietician a couple of times is cheaper than surgery.
My journey cant be compared to others. Its mine and I will travell it as I see fit. The decision to have a gastric sleeve was mine alone. I dont listen to critics as they have their own agendas. Im happy with my choice its not easy daily and I take it as it comes. I wouldnt change it for all the negatives Ive mentioned.
I can say my back dosnt hurt anymore I can buy bras off the rack clothes off the rack. Walk stairs with out puffing and sit on the floor and play with my child and get up off said floor without having to use something to help me. I have a whole new wardrobe of clothes and feel and look better than I have in 10years. Im going to be healthy for my children and me.
Goodluck in your decision but definitly save see a dietician and give optifast a go as a kick start. Be committed in whatever you do and keep us posted on your journey. Happy to chat further and a lil more indepth if you need more info. Im sure IM can set that up if you wish.