Hi ladies, this is going to be a long one. I am 26 years old and I don't have my drivers licence. In my town everything is pretty close by so it's not a huge deal, but I would like to get my licence, it would make life a lot easier. The only problem I have major anxiety about getting my licence and the thought terrified me. A bit of backstory, when I was 20 I had my Ls (I was pregnant at the time) and started doing a few classes with a local instructor. I felt confident driving but really inexperienced with doing manoeuvres such as parking etc. The driving instructor would make me do basic driving for approx 45 mins and then only in the last 15 mins or so would we start the manoeuvres. I got frustrated with this and told him I wanted to learn more of the parking etc, he kept telling me I wasn't confident enough in the driving and he could tell I was an anxious driver. Then on one lesson I did some manoeuvre and he said, "oh I like the way you did that" and it creeped my out. It wasn't what he said but how he said it, his voice was lecherous and dripping with innuendo. This man was about 40 years old. He then also put his hand high up on my thigh. It completely creeped me out and I froze. I never did another lesson with him, or anyone else. I didn't report it because at the time I was very shy and I blocked it out. I repressed the memory for a few years and just chalked up my unease about getting my licence to just being overwhelmed and not a confident driver. Only about a year ago I remembered his hand on my leg and it was an oh my god moment, it explained so much. I know it was only a hand on my leg but i was pregnant and vulnerable, he was in a position of trust and it was so shocking and really scared me.I think over the years I've wound myself up so much in my head that now it just seems too scary, overwhelming and just too hard (which I know it shouldn't be). It's not like I'm scared of being in that situation again, I think I just associated driving with that horrible feeling I had and feeling uncomfortable and vulnerable and so now it gives me really bad anxiety. I want to get my licence, how do I overcome this fear?
2 Replies
I think a great start would be a psychologist who could take you through a desensitisation procedure.
You can desensitise yourself by taking very small steps but you'd need to know how to calm yourself down so you reset your emotions in that situation.
Psychologists do lots of this kind of work :)
The same thing happened to me - I was 16 and he put his hand on my thigh. Didn't go back!