Hi everyone, I am writing because I honestly have no idea what else to do.
I am a special needs muma to a beautiful little boy he is non verbral & he does understand what's been said to him 95% of the time he attends Kindergarten with main stream children & loves it has a blast!
I have a MIL who loves to put in her opinion any chance she gets and seems to love putting my child down & running him into the ground for the things he can't do over the things he can do. As his parents we never worry about the things he can't do but all the wonderful things he can do & had done in the past years
She seems to like to benefit from our son's disabilities she got an iPad which was meant for our child which she applied for thru her friend when hubby & I had brought one & she kept it! She also wants our sons disabilty parking permit in her car so she doesn't have to walk! She! Not our son who can't walk great distances & needs the permit for himself.
She seems to be more then happy to benefit at her grandson's expense.
I have cut most of the contact between her & myself as I get questioned on what happened,why,how,who & did it work yet? I've had enough of being questioned over my sons appointments I'm sure it's not out of interest more getting more a crumb of negative and running with it.
Her and I were quite close but are not anymore due to above but I would be quite happy not to see her for any occasion to be honest I'm already thinking of excuses for her birthday & Mother's Day so I don't have to see her coz she doesn't talk to me either when I am there.
Hubby & I have been together close to 20 years so it's past the get to know you stage.
Suggestions & help needed
Thank you
how do I deal with this?
how do I deal with this?
Posted in:
Behaviour
6 Replies
My advice cut her out as much as you can. Sorry, she sounds like a piece of work! You want people who support you, not used your sons diagnosis for her own purposes. I would absolutely let her friend know what happened with the iPad. You don't want her applying for funding for your son ever again, it's fraud and it may affect your son in the future when if he needs equipment etc.
I have as much as possible if she calls I won't answer & yes she really is a piece of work & we do want people to support us but hubby's families way of support is over the phone & unfortunately I have no way to inform the friend of the IPad situation very unfortunate God knows I love too!
I don't give her enough information for her to try to apply for anything I don't tell her where or how or who we deal with in regards to aids & equipment.
I have this issue with my sil she loves to measure my kids up against one another. I've explained till Iam blue in the face that their all individuals but it never seems to sink in. We have now cut most contact only the rear occasion would we see her which seems to be better we don't talk much anymore either.
Are you for real. Don't go to her birthday and mothers day and she will get the message. I am a mother to a special needs child as well and I will not have anyone treat my child like that for one and definitely won't let them gain from his disability. The parking permit is for your son and tell your mother in law when she gets disabled she can get one too. That should shut her up. When it comes to the iPad, let that one go and let her keep it, but you should not make it easy for her to apply for funding on your sons behalf. You have to sign of on them, so in future don't. That is unfair what she has done. And definitely let her friend know what happened to the iPad. When it comes to constantly putting your son down, don't let her. Stand up for him. Tell her if she has nothing good to say not to say anything at all. She is old enough to know that. Have only very limited contact with this woman. She does not deserve a relationship with your family.
I understand that you want to cut her out because meddling parents/in laws are such a pain. However I have to ask have you sat her down and had a frank conversation with her? You said you have been with hubby 20 years so it's past the getting to know you stage. Maybe she is oblivious to the offence being caused? My own mother meddles. I have a 2 year old and 7 month old and she continuously says try doing it with two (I am a twin) but what she doesn't get is I am doing it with two just not two the same age. I broke down and had a huge rant at her and wish I had sat her down earlier and talked to her about it openly and honestly.
A recently updates at Friday it all blow up between myself & Mil
I questioned her on why she says what she does & wait for it she denied everything! I love my grandson I would never say anything to be hurtful towards him because you know how much I love him! So she has now denied absolutely everything will not own up to what's she's been doing & has done.
I am set in saying I'm still not making contact unless it has to be done otherwise she is getting next to know information about what my beautiful baby boy is up too
since everything she turns into a negative. I can't say I'm not very upset about it coz nothing is fixed & she won't own up & admit she did anything wrong so I don't know now what to do besides stick to my guns & protect my little guy from us the best I can.
Thank you all & I would love to tell her to go F**k herself