Hi my world is sort of slipping through my fingers at the moment. I am in an abusive relationship and now my partner said he wants to file for bankruptcy so we dont have to worry about paying the debts back. This word to be totally honest makes me feel physically ill. I guess because he controls the finances it is sad for me to see. They are in his name but I still want to know what happens if he does. Please explain. Thank You I am heartbroken. It just gets worse for my family. He honestly has impulse problems and has been gambling and possibly gambling behind me back. I dont know when to just give up on everything. he treats us badly and now this....
6 Replies
Let him declare bankrupcy and you go off and start your own life. Let him lie in the bed he made.
Has he even discussed this with you? It is a major thing to do and shouldnt be taken lightly by him or without advice or at least having some kind of plan! This is YOUR life too dont let him dictate something as big as your finances. You can do better
He probably speaks to his own family about it more than me he seems to not talk to me at all how he speaks to them. I guess its only me and the kids that see the truth. I am devestated I had dreams of owning my home and he is so impulsive and expects things to be handed to him. And not work for it or work his way upto better things. its almost like its to hard and far away to save for a house. So he buys the best of the best like clothes, items etc.... and now look at us.sorry I am falling apart. He wont see my phychologist with me it hurts and he blames me for everything
We moved and now I am isolated so he could get a better job. He gets paid well and I stay home with the kids and now all the credit cards are maxed out and the repayments are a struggle. I stay at home most of the time because we dont have money even left for small things.
Ring a legal service. Google free legal advice in your area. They will be able to tell you the long term implications for you. I personally think it's time to make your escape. So be brave and call a domestic violence support group and start making plans to get out. Isolating you is a part if the abuse pattern.
Now. Now is the time to give up on everything. He's sinking you and doesn't care. You're seeing the psychologist, not him. Make your plans and just do it before you get in any deeper. Debts can be paid off. I struggled for ages with my ex, I could never figure out why so didn't see that leaving and being single would be any easier, but how confused and blinded I was. It sure did. I paid off all my debts alone and got in a good position and I'm not well off but I'm doing fine, which I'll take over struggling and sinking any day!!
It's not working because of his decisions, his behaviour, his impulse control, manipulation and pressure and stres, you can't see it but you can work it out separately. Let him do whatever he wants but separate and take control of your own, you can start building your own life, security and savings this week. Things can get better, not worse.
If he declares it doesn't effect you im bankrupt and my husband to be isn't. Mine is because of an abusive relationship. As long as your name isnt on any of it it won't effect you. If its joint and he declares the entire debt goes in to your name. Get out love you can still have your dreams come true :)