Advice.
I have been advised to do what I would like to have avoided but seems I have no choice always in this position...
I have been told the best thing to do when I leave is to keep the kids from their dad until a court parenting order is in place. This could take months. I am heartbroken that I have to do this to my kids and keep them from him. But I will obviously do what needs to be done. if I let them see him it is common that the father can kidnap the children away from me to get me back or he could lose it from loss of control type thing. i dont know what he is capable of in his rages and wether he would follow through on any threats. when I go to court it looks worse for me if he has kidnapped them because it shows them he is capable of looking after them even if he has taken them from me! I know. So basically I am worried when and if I do leave I dont want my son going to school because legally the school can give him to his dad. I am petrified. Can and should I just keep him with me until a court parenting order is in place. And not let them out of my sight?
I really dont like the fact I have to do this.
6 Replies
You don't say how old he is. Also depending on where you move to could be a factor. It can take months for parenting orders to be put in place. You might be able to get a restraining order that covers you and your kids so consult police. That will cover your son from being picked up from school by your sink to be ex.
If when you leave you'd be living some distance I would change my sons school. You have to be careful if you remove him from school for an extended period as that can be seen as truancy. Which could go against you in court. Seek legal advice.
I have one child who is almost 3yo and my son who is in school is almost 6yo and started school this year. He is in kinder/preschool.
I can get an avo for me but probably not the kids. So I have to take it into my own hands by the sounds to protect me and them. I am currently trying to get a phone consult in the coming weeks through my shelter
(Consult is with a lawyer over the phone)
You can put other ppl on the avo aswell as your self so I would be putting your kids on their and just say to police he has made threats in the past and your worried for their safety and they should put them on the avo.
You need to call 1800 RESPECT. They can organise for you to go to a shelter (the one I went to we had our own townhouse in a secure complex). They can even pick you up if need be. They will help you to seek legal aid, claim a hardship payment from Centrelink, help you with food, clothes, toy etc. Send the kids to a school close to the shelter and don't tell anyone even family your location. It will be the hardest thing you ever do but if you do not do it I promise it will never end. I 100% get the fact you don't want to keep the kids from their father BUT if child safety believe that you aren't protecting them from him then they can remove them from your care. You need to be strong and break the cycle. I went back and I can tell you it was a hell of a lot harder to get out a second time and I wasted another 4 years living in hell. Be strong xx
My sister was in the same situation and her ex took her sons off her and his whole family refused to give them back untill she would agreee to part time custody. 5 years later and she still has not got her boys fulltime and never will. 100% take those kids and free yourself ♡