I left my ex partner father of my child of 3 years a few months ago now. I do love him like crazy, but our relationship was far from perfect. I'm 20 and he is 24. I was happy to settle down and be a mum to our now beautiful 2 year old. He was at the start of my pregnancy but as it progressed and our son came he left when our son was 6 weeks old. He finally came back into our lives 6 months later and I let him. But he would constantly go out and drink and leave everything up to me. He let one of his mates move in wth is who just leeched off us and spent our money. I ended up telling him, his friend or his family. He told me to pack up mine and my sons stuff and leave. So I did.
He makes little effort to contact our son. And I've tried tirelessly to get him to be involved but I've moved 6 hours away. He is constantly telling his friends that I never let him speak to his son and I'm a "c&@t". Which is far from the truth. I already feel awful enough as it is for leaving and taking my son away. But I felt it had to be done. I already have such low esteem and am constantly doubting my ability to be a mother. I've always done it alone. But now I just feel really alone. And I'm finding it hard to cope. I feel like I am failing as a parent and I struggle everyday. I put my son to bed at night, he always ask for his daddy but he never calls. It's breaking my heart. I cry all day everyday. I have met someone who does make me happy, but I'm just not ready for a relationship like that. I'm to inlove with my sons father. So much my heart aches. Please tell me how I can cope. I'm just falling apart at the seams.
I don't know how to cope.
I don't know how to cope.
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Parenthood Guilt
4 Replies
Time for some support from friends or family to watch your little boy for an hour while you go and get your self some much needed counseling. You maybe still head over heels In love with this guy but he certainly isn't.
It sounds like you need some on going support. You probably need help to rebuild your self esteem and you possibly sound depressed. My first port of call would be my GP. Tell your GP how you are feeling and that you need someone to talk to. He/she should refer you to a counsellor or psychologist. Medication might be suggested.
Your counsellor can help support you through the rough times and help you with strategies etc. to help you feel better.
I became a sole parent when my son was 6 weeks old at 20 myself. I know how scary it can be. I promise you though, you can do this. You really can.
Go off and see a psychologist, see your gp and they'll refer you so it's free. Seeing one turned my life and thinking around.
You're an amazing mum, you're doing such a fantastic job, coping with a situation you're in because HE chose it, and well done to you for following through, I know it's hard an heheartbreaking, but in the end you will are on the road to happiness. Stay on it. Being mistreated and disrespected by him is no good for you or your son , even though you love him. You will get through, stick with it and get help to keep working in the right direction.
May sound a bit harsh but he does not want you or your son. He chose his friend over you guys and kicked you out instead of his friend for goodness sake. Doesn't that say something. How can you still love this man. Its over and you need to move on. Leave the past in the past and make yourself a new future. This new guy may be what you need to get over your ex. And moving six hours away sounds like its the best thing you have done.