Hi I am feeling a bit disoriented at the moment. My husband has recently had some serious health problems and has spent the last 8 weeks in hospital. He is getting better and should be coming home fairly soon. He was released home for the weekend recently and I suddenly felt like it was all too much. I am care for him in the sense that I assist with basic tasks like showering.
On top of this we care for his elderly mother, as she lives with us. She is 80 and while her needs aren't huge, she can't clean and very rarely cooks.
We have two kids aged 10 and 7. Our eldest is a boy and I feel that all of this has been a lot for him to deal with. He has had some changes in his behaviour and whilst the behaviour is unusual I can understand the acting out.
I recently lost my job, and now my husband can't work. We are behind on all the bills, centrelink covers everything except the mortgage. So I have financial stresses as well.
At the moment I feel as though I am drowning with too much on my plate. I am trying to find work, studying full time, supporting everyone emotionally, supporting my husband physically and my mother in law and children.
Can anyone offer anything? Advice about my son? Advice about coping? Advice about getting my head in the game so that I can be all that I need to be right now? Just some kind words might help.
3 Replies
Oh I'm sorry you are going through this.
I don't know what payment you are on with centrelink but it might be time to put your study on hold (if you can) until things settle down. Talk to a counsellors where you are studying. Speak to the hospital your husband is in about speaking to a social worker. They may be able to organise someone to shower your husband or similar tasks to ease the pressure. Also speak to your local carers organisation. They can put you in touch with services that can help you.
Once you start to set things I place you will feel so much better. If you haven't spoken to your bank regarding mortgage do so now. It may also be a good idea to see if you can access super to help you through this time.
It's scary when these situations happen. You can get through it though once you get some direction and the right services in place.
Your son should have a school counsellor and might find it helpful to speak to them.
Oh super, good thought. You can apply through APRA to access up to $10k super but you normally have to have been on Centrelink payments for 26 weeks. I think there's a provido for illness though. Also see if hubby has any insurance for trauma through his super or outside. There's a payout for illness or accident that can cover medical expenses and other things while he's sick.
If not already, see if your bank offers a repayment holiday for your mortgage, with the circumstances so dire hopefully they will do what they can, also better to let them know upfront than to fall behind with no communication.
Is there any assistance offered with hubby's care? Community nurse or something to help with the showering etc? Friends or family who can help by putting some meals in your freezer, organising a cleaning roster or paying for someone who can help?
Accept any and all help offered, now is not the time to try to be a hero. Care for yourself as well as your family.