I'm a new young mum, 20 with a 3 month old and i've never really had friends.
I still havent gotten up the courage to go to any mums groups yet.
I had this one friend who i've known for 13 years, we hung out while i was pregnant and i was happy to have someone to help me through everything, i was planning on making her the godmother and everything.
Then she got a boyfriend, deleted me off facebook, stopped contacting me and hasn't spoken to me in 2 months, last time we talked she asked for money to buy cigarettes.
I am absolutely shattered, me and the dad split up so im constantly alone, suffering from PNA&PND
and all i want to do is message her and tell her how pathetic she is and how upset she made me.
i also found out she told someone that now i have a baby im boring.
im actually heart broken.
Just venting
Just venting
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression
5 Replies
This must be heartbreaking for you. I too am friendless since high school and having kids, I've always struggle making friends. I'm 24 live in rural Vic. What about you?
I wrote a much bigger response but my phone crashed. :(
I've found pen pals help with my loneliness or text I'd like to meet these people one day.
I've learnt to just plan my days and accept my loneliness it's hard when I go to the park and it seems I'm the only one not having a play date or friend to share with but I know if I let it get to me it hurts more. Don't give your friend the satisfaction of letting he know she's hurt you.
I hope your seeing a psychologist. I found one really helpful to talk to and also help teach me how to make healthy relationships. I realised I was overly reliant on people and that kind of freaked them out (I'm not saying that's what's going on with you).
So if you haven't seen one, start.
I was your age when I had my son as a sole parent. The first few years were the hardest for me. None of my friends had friends and although some tried to stay connected we literally had nothing in common anymore.
If you can, work up the courage to go to a mums group. Also if you have any hobbies find a group or class that you can go to.
Your better off without her! I would really recommend giving mothers group a go. I wasn't sure about it at first but 3 years on we still catch up regularly! It's so comforting speaking with people going through the same thing as you.
If it makes you feel better just do it and message her, who knows it might clear things up. BIt honestly this happens to everyone at all ages, being a mum is boring to other people, we don't have time, we're not the same, we're going through something bloody emotional and exhausting! our priorities change, we can't help that. We do still need friends and our own time out being the old us, but it sounds like it's not her, she sounds childish and a bit mean, you need a friend who's understandIng and on your side. Move on and join a mums group and find a nice person to be your friend.
Having a baby changes your life, when you go through hard times you really learn who sticks by you, you learn who your real friends and genuine worthwhile people are, plus you don't have time or emotions to care about bullshit. it really turns into quality over quantity.
If you're sad, depressed and lonely, youre probably surrounded by assholes.
Keep looking You'll find the good ones and be really happy.
All new mums go through this stage of losing friends they had in their single days! They do think we are boring cause we can't just drop what we are doing and go out, life has changed for you and it's hard but also the best thing that you have done in life.
Time to move on from the past and go to a mothers group , it's alot easier to talk to people that have children because half the time all they have to talk about is their children to :-) how they aren't sleeping , they rolled for the first time, they are sitting up and all the rest , people with out children don't get the excitement as other mums, move on darl and enjoy this time of your life even if it is the hardest time of your life