I am having a hard time struggling, right now I am being treated for depression and while I acknowledge and understand it can be a hard road it seems to be taking forever. Ok so bare with me here. I always see these perfect mums - sure their hair may be a mess, the have slapped on some lippy for their make up that morning that has now worn off onto their coffee mug, their house may not always be spotless, sometimes they lose their cool and yell. But I see them, they are just the perfect mum to me. Their routine may not be air right but there is some what of one there. Dinner may be burnt but it's on the table ready somewhere between dinner time and bedtime. They take the kids to do fun things, their houses are generally quite clean with Lego spread all over the floor. I want to be one of them but have no idea how to get there.
It seems I have no routine, everything in my life is a mess, my kids are constantly naughty despite any discipline, I am so far behind on everything, always late, the list goes on. I'm a single mum being both mum and dad, it always seems like there is never a moment for a break. My kids never really get the opportunity to do much as I don't feel like or to scared to leave the house.
So I guess I am looking for some tips to be a perfectly imperfect mum. How does everyone get into gear and start a routine, get the kids out and about, and just enjoy the chaos and craziness of motherhood?
2 Replies
It's a total work in process. I personally have gotten things out of control before and also suffered from depression (the two things seem to happen together).
Part of being depressed is it's really hard to think clearly, plan, and stay on top of things.
The hardest part is starting. Set a goal for yourself each week. So you first goal might be to write a meal plan for the week and do the shopping for that. Doesn't matter if those meals are chicken nuggets and chips, start simple. The next week schedule 30 minutes at the end if the day where you will help your kids pack away there toys.
So just keep adding in one goal as you master the last one. You psychologist should be able to help you set specific ones for you. Starting to get a bit more organised always helps me feel a little better and more in control
One step at a time. I think a good thing would be to lean on someone, like family or friends to give you a break first? And then start a routine. I know that when I really want to clean, I ask my husband to watch the kids (previous single mum and I used to just put tv on for my child or nan would babysit)...I have a routine such as Monday is bathroom cleaning day, my child goes to day care x days, let's do craft today...if it helps, write it down what you want to achieve per day/per week. Now let me tell you a story about me. I look at my cousin who has 5 kids, she always looks beautiful, she's works out, her kids are so well behaved and she just seems like she walks on water. She came over one day and must have been in a bad mood because she complained about everything and how hard it is for her. I saw her in a new light, off the peddlestool I had her on.
The next day I complained online how I want to do so many things but can't find the time and someone commented that I'm a super mum in her eyes, how she wishes she was more like me. But the grass is never greener on the other side: like I learned from my cousin. Just remember that xx