I have an 18 year old sister in law who has absolutely no ambition in life atm. She has no job or any real interest in getting a job or studying or getting her drivers licence . every time my partner asks her about how her applications are going she just reply's with " they're gonna call me!" she doesn't want to work in an office , hospitality,retail or warehouses so I have no idea what she is doing or what jobs she is applying for. It's really hard for me to see someone so young waste all this time and not have any goals for her future.. ! She would rather sneak around with her bf and spend time with him...how would you deal with this If this was your child? Her parents don't seem to know what to do as they're not very assertive as my sister in law usually just lies to them to shut them up. and they don't like pushing her to far incase she runs away..blah blah.My partner wants to step in and take control to try and make her see that she is wasting her life. I'm worried about her that's all... At her age I was stoked to work / drive and study to make a good life for myself.
6 Replies
Let her go! Keep your noses out of it. It's really, really hard when you don't know what to do and it can take some people a few years to find there feet when they finish high school.
She isn't you and she isn't your husbands child and any unsolicited advice from your partner will be taken badly and won't motivate her just be seen as criticism.
It took me a good couple of years to discover what I wanted to do with my life after school.
Yeah just stay out of it and stop telling her what she should doing! It's none of your business. I didn't get my shift together until I was 22 And It all worked out in the end. Some people just take longer to mature. The only people who have any right to have a problem with her is her parents because she's living off their income I assume? The only thing I can suggest would be to see if you could help her get a job by asking around to see if anything is open. Or you could pay her a small sum to do your laundry or clean your car, she might just need to see how it feels to make her own money
She's typical 18. Try talking to her about music, her boyfriend, traveling, things she's into, is she happy! .. She probably has no idea or interest in the big adult issues you're worried about, she's not you, she's not in your place in life. It took me ages to find my feet, the last thing you need is a married mum telling you you're doing it all wrong and you're a waste and worthless.
Try helping her but finding out what she's into then trying to get some work experience in that field. If she enjoys and like the work experience then you can look into how she can become employed in that field if it be uni, tafe, or just paid work.
If this was my child id realise that they are an adult and I cant "take control" anymore. She can do what she wants, shes an adult. Eventually she'll have to deal with the cpnsequences. But anyway she is only 18, why does she have to have her whole life in order? More accurately in YOUR order?
Why is there concern about her running away when she is 18, a complete legal adult and can move out? And, also as an adult, why does she need to sneak around with her boyfriend? She shouldn't have to sneak around at all. This doesn't make sense to me.