I am so upset with myself. I know smacking is not for some people so please no harsh comments. I feel bad as it is.
I have a nearly 3yo (July's his birthday) and for the last couple of months he has figured out that when he plays with his "willy" it goes erect. He is very well endowed for a little boy and at first he was just pulling it out the top of his nappy but yesterday he was very quiet so I went and looked. He was on my bed (we co-sleep early In mornings) he had taken his pants and nappy off was lying on the bed full on erection with a plastic cup in his hands, when I walked in he quickly covered his willy with the cup. I was so shocked I smacked his bare bottom put his nappy on and sent him to his room. I feel so bad and angry with myself that I smacked him. I know its natural for them to discover their privates and I don't want him thinking it's a bad thing to play with himself since I just got up him for doing it.
Now What do I do when he does it again.
14 Replies
you smacked him for playing with his willy? I'm really not sure why you are so angry at him for doing that? In private, in his room / your. Where else should he do it? I can understand teaching him not while out in public, he's still so little he won't even understand that but you can tell him and redirec. I think that's a lot to ask of a littlie. I don't get why he can never ever touch the himself? To the point it makes you so angry.
He is not too little. Babies do this as soon as they can work there hands! Even little girls do it. He is not too young. He is exploring his body just like every other little boy did/does.
Next time you explain calmly that he only does that when he is in his own bedroom. That's all you need to do.
Might be a good idea to read up on child development.
Sorry but I don't understand why you smacked him? For playing with his own doodle? It's his doodle, it's not wrong for him to touch it, and at his age he's touching it and making it erect because it entertains him, not for any sexual reason. Smacking is okay, when appropriate, but getting so angry over nothing and smacking your child when they haven't even done anything wrong is something else. Just reading your post actually made ME angry. What on earth did he actually do wrong in this situation because I don't see him getting to know his own body something deserving to be hit for.
My son is 4 and plays with his penis all the time. We have had to pull him up as he was doing it in public. He knows his only allowed to do it in his own room now.
How could you! He is only exploring his body at this age it's not sexual. I don't understand why this made you angry. He's not too little I have a 12 month old who is just discovering what's down there and he always tries to touch it. If he does it again I would try to explain that's to be done in private like in his room maybe. Never that it's not ok because it is totally natural! You will make him feel so ashamed of himself if you keep going down that path. speaking from experience from my own parents.
Big hugs mumma, you obviously feel guilty for smacking him and by the sounds of it, it was just a quick irrational reaction (I think most parents have been guilty of that) This is extremely normal, coming from a mother of 3 boys. Just explain to him it's something he can do in private, as hard as it may be don't make him feel ashamed by doing this. Lucky little people have a short memory so hopefully he has forgotten about your reaction and you can deal with it now in a more positive way x
I am the mum that posted this. To the ladies saying it was mean to smack him. I know that, that's y I am so upset with myself. ( maybe I should of worded it properly) I know it's natural for them to do it. he's my second son and my first never done anything like that so I was shocked. Next time he does something like that I will explain to him that it's a private thing and to be done in his own room. Thank you to the ladies that understood what I ment.
Can you update your question, to add this bit? Otherwise I think youre not going to get very helpful or constructive replies, especially when this hits facebook.
I updated it. Hope that sounds like I'm not the bad person
I think that's written More clearly. I agree with below poster, address it now, it'll just take a little discussion about it, he'll probably be A bit confused about what he is supposed to do and scared or can't ask at that age, so just explain i won't smack you again when you do that, it's ok to do it , it's interesting isn't it? and tell him what you do Expect him to do, so he knows the rules nice and clearly . I guess only in his room or bathroom or in private etc whatever you decide is right for you.
Talk to him now and apologize for smacking him and explain that it just shocked you and thats its ok to play with his willy but just maybe to do it in private, otherwise he may grow up feeling ashamed and guilty for wanting to touch it but thinking its 'wrong'.
Apologise to him now and explain that you shouldn't have smacked him and that you were surprised and won't do it again. Normalise his behaviour and set some boundaries like everyone else alluded to.
Then you just need to get your own temper in check and not resort to smacking. Maybe if you feel yourself going to that place remove yourself physically and take 10 deep breaths to compose yourself.
You got this mamma!!
When my eldest was 2 I found him trying to put his willy in the middle of a CD.
Shocked was not the word!!
Just ignore. It's natural.
I have an almost 3 yr old..same situation basically... I did find it confronting at first but then I figured he prob get bored after a while.. he did .. he is facinated wi it and like your son plays wit it until its erect and will say mommy its big now... this went on for bout 4 weeks I jus distract him wash his hands and say dont play wit your willy ... since has stopped ..I wudn stress soooo much or feel bad about smcking him its all new to you also andkids forgive easily !!