Im just going to jump straight to the point, I'm guttered, insulted and crushed to be told this morning that I am a useless mother, and that the " new girlfriend " also thinks I'm a hopeless mother because apparently I put my work before my kids !!! This kind of judgement from people who really know nothing about my day to day life really kills a person.
I work full-time 6 days a week, I am a single mother with a 8 and 11 year old, for three years now after leaving a very controlling and ugly long term relationship. I work full time to be able to provide for my kids, I don't get a proper amount of child support for my kids to help back up the costs of living.. This isn't a poor me post! I know I am doing the best I possible can as a mother and sole provider, I'm also trying to teach my daughter to be a strong and independent woman, so she can grow and not need to ever rely on anyone. Of course if I could be at home with them more I would be, but I also thought me working to give them a home, clothes and food was all for them too ?
I am just mad !!! Mad that another mother/ woman who has also gone through a divorce and surely would know what it feels like to have everything rely on you could possibly say that about me or any mother for that matter.
Woman need to learn to start encouraging one another and lifting them up, what happened to giving each other that little bit or reassurance and a pat on the back and telling us we a doing a good job even when we have no clue what the hell we are doing. I don't have a bloody manual to this parenting gig just like the rest of you, I just refuse to give up and I'm trying to work with all that I have. The guilt I feel for working and missing out on things I wish I could do eats me up every god damn day!!! I judge myself enough, I don't need the judgement from anyone else. I am a completely imperfect mother, but I love my children and I am trying to make a better world for them, even if they do shit me to tears some days.. Women all over the world need to start thinking before they speak , and stop being so bloody cruel! Your words may one day be that final straw of breaking someone who already carries the whole world on their shoulders .. On that note Happy Easter , enjoy your families and all that chocolate xxx while I sit here at work :/
5 Replies
Good for you, for working hard and staying strong. You are being an excellent role model for your daughter and son.
I know what it's like to get a pittance and irregular CS payment (the cost of the children don't disappear though). So I know what it's like to make up the short fall (especially living in NSW where everywhere was dearer).
That new girlfriend sounds like a piece of work who had no right to comment!
yes! i feel this way too-stop the judgement and start supporting more!
if you are a single mother with older children then you have no choice but to work full time as there is no single parent pension once your youngest is 8.
fuck the girlfriend, fuck the haters. you know you are doing the right thing! keep being an awesome mother!
(ps. i get judgement for NOT working full time such as 'dont you feel guilty for not contributing?' 'if you want a haircut you need to work more' i do work-2 jobs both casual. cant bloodg win can we?!
Two things. First, she's not a friend or trying to be, actually sounds like she was in a conversation with someone who feels this way.
Secondly, she didn't say it to you, it was passed on as hearsay, obviously with the intent to hurt you.
Don't give away your power too easily. It's not worth letting someone upset you like that. It sounds like you Do an amazing job and you know you do above and beyond to give and do your best for your kidS.
Just say to her sorry I don't sit around watching soap operas a day and I don't rely on other peoples taxes for support. She sounds like an idiot I am a working mum and having nothing but respect for working mums.
Just wanted to say good on you for doing what you need to do for your children! Regardless of whether we are sahm or wfhm or working away from the home mums we are all still mothers and we all do what we each feel necessary for our children. I have been lucky enough to stay at home with my children (for the record i do not have the luxury of sitting on my arse all day watching soap opera's. I do however have the chance to raise my children and watch them grow and learn while hubby and I run our own business. I have just taken on another job to bring in a little extra income. The judgement I receive for being a sahm is bullshit but most don't understand I am jointly running a business with my husband and running a household with 3 children!! And now I'm taking on a little extra to help provide even more for our family can't imagine the judgement being anything more than the opposite to what I receive now. Keep your head high! Your ex and his new girlfriends thoughts or opinions do not matter, your and your children's do and most of all the happiness of the 3 if you!