I have a friend who has always been a bit glass half empty but the last few years its gotten to a point where everything out of her mouth is snide, rude, bitchy & negative.
She constantly compares her child to everyone else's but in a negative way about her own child. She complains about everyone but she is very lazy, doesn't cook or clean, works minimal hours, is not the primary carer as her hubby or mum has to do it all & she's always been like this. ( has 1 daughter)
She consistently hurts my feelings and I do stand up for myself but she will just start talking over the top of me about something else.
My question is would you speak to her about the way she behaves ( again) or let her go as a friend? If you would speak to her how would you go about it? I don't like fighting with anyone & don't want to hurt her but its really weighing on me.
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7 Replies
Just remove yourself from her you have a choice not to be around negative people, saying something will just start up a big drama not worth it, everyone eventually will get sick of always hearing 'all about me '
I'd start removing myself from her... Slowly faze the friendship out..
Okay either start making really positive comments around her...so if she says something negative about her daughter say something positive, if she says something negative about having a bad day say something positive. This may help her recognise how negative she is been? Secondly ask her straight out if she is okay? If she asks why tell her the truth that she has been quite negative lately.i would try and talk to her about it because I know when I was down in the blues I was negative to be around and I'm glad people stuck by me. If it's really starting to affect you then I would distance yourself and don't feel guilty your number one here.
Remove yourself. If she is continually hurting your feelings that's not your friend.
I used to know someone like this, would always find a way to make the situation about them and was so negative on EVERYTHING. Would never say anything positive about her kids. Even when offered positive solutions would find a way to say it wouldn't work. We had a falling out and havent spoken to them in at least 6months. Life has been amazing... Cut her out i can guarantee you will feel better. However! Don't cut her out if she's going through a bad time, if something is going on it could be making her negative, but you did say she has always been this way just gotten worse.
Completely agree with this. I am a positive love to laugh person but over a few years of hardship I turned awful. Complaining and negativity would come out of my mouth all the time, I'd bitch about everyone, they had no clue what a hard life is etc etc. I became very selfish.Then Id go home and feel even worse about myself, the way that interaction had gone, what people thought of me, and felt even more isolated and bitter. I guess if you want to say something as a friend, make it a kind conversation that you notice that she's very down and negative and should get some help to turn that negativity around. She might really want to talk about it too.
Read some information about narcissism. I had a friend a lot like this. Then I told her once she upset me by being rude to me and she then tried to turn it around to 'how dare you tell me I was rude' and tried to claim me speaking up for myself was me trying to emotionally ruin her. Some people are just this personality and you will exhaust yourself and question yourself but they are not worth it. Focus on the good relationships instead x