I am needing help.. I have seperation anxiety from my daughter.. I won't leave her with anyone over night except once a year and even then that's a struggle and I will text/call too see how she is... I decline all invites out with friends and family if it isn't kid friendly and it's taking a toll on friendships... I literally have panic attacks even thinking about leaving her.. is this normal?? She is 20 months old and been left 3 times for sleep overs with her grandparents... I am now needing to go away but have a birthday party for my daughter to attend,original plan was to have her aunty take her and have her for the night but the closer it gets the more panicked I get.... please tell me I am normal in feeling this way or give me advise on how I can cope better
9 Replies
Some people will say it's normal some people will say it isn't. The big question is 'is it interfering with you living life?' And is it 'change worthy'.
I think as your daughter is 20mths I think it's not out of hand personally but I would start working on it so you aren't the mum who goes to pick her kid up from there first sleep over at a friends because you couldn't cope :)
I think it's normal though to text once to see how things are going especially with a young one new to sleep overs if your checking in every hour though that's probably beyond the norm :)
I guess it depends on what you're worried about. Are your concerns for her safety? Are you concerned she may be mollested? Or are you just concerned you will miss her too much? It's understandable that you are still struggling being away from her, she's only 20 months that's still very young but it's not like she's going to a friends house for a sleep over she is going to her grandparents house or aunts house where I'm sure she will be in good hands. I Think it's important kids have time away from their parents and I think it's important for you to have time away from her even if it's for work. Kids usually have a great time for a night away! And it's good for them to develop stronger bonds with other adults in their life besides their mother. It's normal to worry and it's normal to check in to see how she's going, what's not normal is letting these worries impact your life or her life negatively. If there is no real reason you don't want her at her aunts or nans house then you need to relax. You def don't want to be the over bearing mum. Good luck with it I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions on how to cope! But you're not alone
My kids never slept over anywhere before 2! I never go anywhere without my kids! The first time my daughter had a sleepover was with her nanny and she was only a five minute drive away just before she turned 3. She is almost 7 and only had about 6 sleepovers with grandparents, my boys are two and three and only have had a couple of sleepovers with their grandparents
I actually cried on the way to hospital with my 3rd cos it was the first time I was without my 15 mo lol
I actually cried on the way to hospital with my 3rd cos it was the first time I was without my 15 mo lol
I have a 5 nearly 6 year old I have spent 7 nights away from and that was because I was in hospital with my 2nd for 5 nights and in hospital with my 3rd for 2 nights I have spent 2 nights away from my 2nd , they were with their dad and they have never stayed with anyone else, they can have sleep overs when they are 20 lol
I think it's normal. My rule when I first had kids is they are never staying anywhere until they are 3 or older and can talk. However they do get time away from me in the care of grandparents and aunts just not sleepovers.
Yes a lot of mums have separation anxiety with their first but the level you are talking about is quite extreme and if it's affecting your relationships that's not good. You should be able to go out to social events etc and have time out. Most importantly it's not healthy for your child, they will develop anxiety from your anxiety. Please get some counselling and learn to have time away : )
I successfully had the weekend away and didn't stress out as much once I was gone.. It made it easier that my daughter was happy to stay with her aunty until her dad picked her up... should make life a lot easier now :)