Ok, so I have a daughter in a wonderful and inclusive girls group. It's a great place for girls of all ages and abilities. For the purpose of this forum, my daughter has no behavioural or physical issues of any kind.
Within this wonderful group is a girl with diagnosed behavioural issues. Mum has provided paperwork for the leaders (one of which I am training to be) so that they are aware of behaviours, agreed upon strategies and medications - not administered within the group only by mum at home - she's lovely but has her moments. She's intelligent and creative, articulate and fun to be around. She's 9 and about 1 week younger than my daughter.
My daughter is having problems with the more negative behaviours of rudeness and fixating her aggression on one member of the group (leaders and parents are aware) she feels intimidated by the controlling nature of this girl.
I am not sure how to advise my daughter as staying away is only feasible part of the time. Honestly I don't want to tell her "stay away" as I feel this girl Needs to be included as "normally" as possible and my daughter needs to learn how to manage this and be inclusive where possible.
Can anyone with children who have conditions like ODD and ADD/ADHD Aspergers please give me some advice on ways to negotiate the more awkward times? I understand every child is different and will have different issues and ways of coping and communicating but any Advice is welcome as I don't want to alienate the girl nor cause unnecessary stress for my daughter. I'd like to encourage friendship with good boundaries and communication (as naturally as possible between the girls) within their choice to interact with each other.
trying to help my child be friends with someone with diagnosed behavioural issues
trying to help my child be friends with someone with diagnosed behavioural issues
Posted in:
Behaviour, Kids, Aspergers & Autism
1 Replies
Maybe start with some kids books on difference. There are some excellent ones about kids with autism focused at children. Also approach it from the point of view this girl needs extra help and is still learning just like your daughter needs help to learn (insert something she isn't totally fantastic about it, and include examples about yourself). Start talking about difference, some people look different, some people can't ride bikes, some people need a wheel chair and that this little girl needs help with 'how to be friends'.
It is definitely ok to acknowledge that this girl is different. When we try and pretend everything is normal kids just don't know how to handle that, but cope much better with an honest explanation. We found kids who have been told my son has autism are just so much more open to him, unlike one little girl who hadn't been told that my son was non-verbal and threw a wobbly because my son wouldn't talk to her!