I'm the mum of the naughty kid :'(
My daughter is a bit rough with some of her friends.
Sometimes she's fantastic and sometimes she pushes or pulls hair.
I have tried everything I can think of to combat this; time out, punishments, taking away toys or iPads or tv time. Yes I have even given her a smack on the hand. I have taken her away from the situation making her go home instead of being able to keep playing with friends.
My mum has suggested it might be an attention thing (she's 3 1/2 and I have a 8 month old) but even when I spend time with her one on one she still plays up.
I have just been told by one of my best friends that she doesn't want to meet up because my daughter hurts her daughter.
I am feeling bad and guilty enough without being told this and now I just feel like a complete failure.
I have tried explaining to my daughter that her friends won't want to play anymore but she just doesn't seem to understand or care.
I am bawling my eyes out as in at such a loss of what else I can do to fix this.
I should note that she's fantastic with kids she doesn't know. It's only her actual friends that she's rough with.
2 Replies
How are her language skills? Sometimes kids will hit out when they don't have the language to express themselves.
I'd take her to your GP for a referral to a child psychologist as it sounds like this is going beyond the occasional lash out.
Whatever intervention method needs to be 100% consistent, so if you decide your using time outs you need to use time outs consistently for a month. Also punishment after the fact doesn't work. Eg if she is at playgroup but gets published when she gets home it is too late.
Have you tried playing with your daughter and her friends so you can redirect your daughter before or as she is about to hurt? That is what I would do with kids I work with. You have to stay very close and be prepared to prompt what she should be doing instead of lashing out. Eg tell your friend you don't like it when she takes your toy.
My son at 3.5/4 yrs was extremly rough I ended up putting him in day care for a few days a week this is going to sound mean but put him in day care to get picked on alittle and let the other kids sort him out. Worked a treat their was a bigger kid that didn't take his crap and put him in line quick smart. He hasn't looked back and now understands boundaries and personal space.