Hi mums Im after some advice. People close to me have a child ( under 1 )(first for the mum & 3rd for the dad) they are both in their early 20's . They are constantly on their mobile phones leave the baby to crawl around the house pretty much on its own as they are always out in the entertainment/smoking room (mind you they do live with the childs grandparents) ignore the child when it crys 90% of the time and when they have had enough put the child to bed (sometimes un bathed ) and leave it to cry for lengthy amounts of time. They have animals which they leave the child unattended with. They also get drunk every weekend. I guess my question is do i say to them pull your socks up your child deserves better and is likely to get hurt or do i just try and distance myself as much as possible. Sorry for the long post
3 Replies
Just because we don't like something someone does or it is not the same way you would do it doesn't mean you can't maintain a relationship. Although they would drive me potty and I'd have a hard time biting my tongue (besides the bathing part, they really don't need to be bathed everyday).
It depends what you hope to achieve by saying something? I think they probably don't care they are not engaged with there child, so saying something is more likely just going to start a fight. How will a fight effect you and the rest of the people close to you?
If it is genuine neglect/abuse then report to authorities but Im not sure it would reach the threshold from what you have described. But it sounds like it is a big difference in parenting style so I'd probably be quiet.
unfortunately if you do say something you risk loosing them as friends, i agree with the other poster, just because there parenting style is different to yours doesnt mean it is wrong.
If you feel the child doesnt get enough attention from its parents or is craving interaction why dont you spend your time when you go there with the child - this may liberate them to want to spend more time interacting with there child. I think this is the only thing that can be done if you honestly want to help the parents and child, if you feel that you can only be judgemental walk away and create the distance.
Which part is the is the irresponsible part, if my toddler us out of hand she goes to bed u bathed, my son will crawl around without me in the room as I'm off doing housework. And I don't think their age has anything to do with it that shoUld not even be accounted my as I've seen irresponsible parents at 30. Sorry I just trying to understand why you think all of that is irresponsible. If they are getting drunk with no one to watch bubba that is.