Baby Shower take two.
I'm not sure what to do; I threw my sister in law a Baby Shower in March last year. At the time I was 37 weeks pregnant myself; but I still ensured she had a beautiful shower and spared no expense.
Fast forward to now. She's pregnant again with her second daughter and has asked me to throw her another shower; except she doesn't want things for her new baby, she wants things for her almost 1 year old. I'm personally not comfortable with this; she actually wants me to put on the invitation 'size 1 clothes only;' and reasons that in the long run they'll be her new daughter's anyway so why not ask? In my opinion; that's not a Baby Shower, that's a Toddler Shower!
I myself have a 2.5 year old and almost 1 year old (both boys) and I certainly didn't have a second shower as I was already kitted out for another son. Sure, it would have been awfully helpful to be given a heap of free clothes for my then toddler, but that's not me.
I'm busy enough; and I know the celebration is for the new baby, which would be absolutely fine if I didn't have to stipulate what people bought; I feel embarrassed about it and people have already asked if my sister in law is joking?! It gets better though, she only wants Pumpkin Patch or Sprout clothing and no knitted items as she doesn't like hand washing.
Sorry, this is more of a vent; but I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. She's the baby of the family, and my mother in law thinks it's perfectly ok to ask for what you want as 'people like to buy things you need and want.' And I don't want to end up bitched about (again!) if I don't throw it.
My mother in law said, "if it's too much of an effort for you; I'll throw it." But my sister in law has already said to me that she doesn't want it at her mum's place as it's 'embarrassing.' (Not very clean, untidy and with various unpleasant odours; and likes our place as we're apparently 'rich.') So there goes that option.
What would everyone else do in this situation?
9 Replies
Ive never heard of this happening before and i would be very angry if i ever received an invitation for something like this.
I find it very rude and it sounds like she had such a great time last year that she wants another 'present grab'
Most people dont even have a second baby shower!
I would not go if i got an invite like this, and i would also not organise one either, just let the mother in law do it. If sister in law has a problem with it then she can throw her own damn party at her own house
Let your mother in law throw it! Tell your sister in law that you are feeling overwhelmed at this time in your life and so you just can't do it this time. Learn to say NO. Your mother in law has offered to take it on and let her, it is now HER problem. She can hire a hall or find another location or even clean up her house or throw it at your sister in laws house. This is not something that you should feel you have to do. Your sister in law may sulk for awhile but she will get over it.
I didn't even think of that! My husband is against it too as last time all her friends bought alcohol and left me at 37 weeks pregnant to clean up. I just don't want anything to do with it at all :(
I'm glad your husband supports you in this. Look after yourself first.
Don't do it. That's embarrassing for you! Just say sorry I am just so flat out at the moment.
Wow she sounds selfish! Don't do it!! If I got an invite like that I wouldn't go. And I'd tell her why... If your mother in law has offered let her do it. Tell the mil and sil that you're just not comfortable doing it. A baby shower, first second or how ever many is for the BABY.
I think it's a bit rude of your sister in law to be wanting a 2nd baby shower so close to her last one the whole point in a baby shower is to help the parents to be, to get a few extra things for the set up of their first baby . A 2nd shower would be ok if it was a long time In-between births like 5 years and there was things you might need but to ask for presents for the one year old is a bit much.. Tell her she should have a party for her toddler instead if she wants presents for that child. Society now has gotten to the point where it's expected that you turn up with presents. Where it should be about celebrating the occasion and if you want to bring a present then that's great but it shouldn't be expected and most definitely not told what to get. I would not feel bad about not wanting to do this.
I would politely, flatly refuse to throw this baby shower. I would remind her of what a baby shower is all about - welcoming a new baby, and helping new parents get set up. Nothing else.
WTF I've never heard of such a thing & for them to think that's reasonable to begin with. No one has a second baby shower & esp if they are having the same gender. I just had my second son & if we received a gift at his birth great if not that was cool too as it is hard to buy for the same sex again. Some did buy a present for my older son as my youngest had everything & said it would be handed down anyway. But that was there idea not mine. I wouldn't be comfortable either. Stand your ground politely say you can't manage it at this stage & let your mil take over. If the SIL doesn't like it stiff she can throw the party herself! Good luck.