Hi Mummas
Needing some advice. My husband and I have 3 children. We currenyly have them in private schooling, which due to changes work situations we can no longer afford.
My eldest child is quite an anxious child and I worry that an upheaval will severely affect his emotional status. When we have tried to approach the subject he gets very upset and cries.
My husband was recentlytold all staff are losing their work cars meaning we now have to purchase a second car, fork out for all petrol and rego and other costs. Petrol alone is $300 pw as he does a lot of travel. Adding to that the travel is killing my husband. We are almost 2 hours from his work meaning he travels that distance each way everyday. He is exhausted and depressed and feels he has no quality of life. I can see how miserable he is.
These are the options we have considered.
Option A- giving up our mortgage and going back to renting to keep our kids in their current schooling and hubby still travelling.
Option B- relocating to near my husbands work meaning we save the fuel costs and he doesnt have the travel but uprooting our kids
And putting them in public schooling.
Option C- robbing a bank (haha)
I feel torn between keeping the kids where they are happy and settled and my husband having some sort of life again. We never have money for anything as it all goes on school fees. No family holidays, we can't even go to dinner. I feel
As though the kids being settled snd happy is so important but wonder whether not being able to live and do many fun things is worth it when we have public schooling available. I feel very concerned my husband will have an accident to or from work. He leaves at 330am and gets home anyehere from 5pm to 8pm (sometimes later) depending on his work load. We have tried so hard ti fund other work for him but he either doesn't get call backs or the money is terrible.
Any advice would be so much appreciated. We are at the fork in the road now and he wants a decision from me but I'm far too stressed to think clearly.
Thanks in advance x
5 Replies
Depending on how old the kids are maybe sit down woth them and let them help make the decision. If they are involved in the choice it may not be so traumatic. I think in the long run moving would make everyone happier. I also have a husband who travels long distances at stupid times for work and so I understand how much it effects them. Maybe explain to the kids that dad will be much happier and have more time to spend with them if you all go to the new house.
Best of luck mumma, I hope it all works out in the end x
I would move the kids and the family. I have a anxious child myself but handled correctly I think it is short term pain for long term gain. Also if hubby has a nervous breakdown himself you won't have an option! So do it in a controlled in my terms way. I think in this case you need to protect your bread winner.
i really feel your anxiety over this, and it seems that this decision is sorta left up to you to make.
i think you need more information. i suggest going to the area/s you are thinking of moving to and check out the public schools, meet the principal, ask lots of questions and look around the school/s, even take your kids to a few on your shortlist so that they can see it for themselves. not all public schools are bad, look for one that has the same qualities you like in the kids current school (eg, a small school, a school with lots of sport, a high achieving school)
you can ask to see the schools annual report which should show the last few years NAPLAN results and you can see what the average grade is.
is it possible for hubby to take another job closer to home, even if its not in the same field of employment? if he was closer to home maybe you could also work to add extra income?
Does your kids school offer reduced rates for hardship? yes its embarrassing to ask but it may save you guys some money, and thats always a good thing! do they also offer reduced rates for lower income families? maybe if hubby took another job (doing ANYTHING) then you still might be able to keep the kids in school.
and lastly, what does hubby think? is he willing to continue to travel if you choose to stay? or is he pushing for a move? or would he prefer to put in the hard yards so the kids can continue with their private schooling?
i hope you can come to a decision without too much heartache, goodluck mumma!
I would move, it might be a big thing for the kids to think about, leaving their school and friends and all but they will settle quicker than you think, my eldest was a very shy, anxious child and we changed his school, different reasons, but he settled in and loved his school. And I personally think public schools are so much better than private, I have always felt private schools are just a lot of money for something that they are going to learn at a public school anyway. I know people say the education is so much better and all but seriously they are learning to read and write, how much different can it be in a different school? Plus if you can afford holidays with the kids then they will think that is fantastic! Creating memories for them while they are young instead of spending it all on school fees that they will learn in a cheaper school anyway!!
You isn't mention weather you work or not. If not, could you get a job so that the kids could stay at their current school?