Fussy eaters and sleepers

I have a 3 1/2 yo girl who is just beautiful, but she is becoming more and more 'fussy' and I don't know how to be the good parent in some situations and I'm after some guidance...
1. How do you help fussy eaters eat a variety of foods? and make meal times less hassle and more fun? some days even refuses her favourites because I put the wrong coloured fork on her plate or it wasn't what she wanted (even when she's helped make it)
2. What gentle approaches can I try when she just refuses to go to sleep in her bedroom, doesn't matter if I lie in there and read stories play teddies rub her back etc she wont go to sleep without making a fuss, it can take hours, but she will go to sleep in minutes in my bed. This happens for daytime naps as well as night time almost every night (she doesn't always have a sleep in the day either)