We have my husbands father staying with us who has come over from England. He has been here a week and still have 4 weeks with him and he is driving me crazy! Not sure if I just need to vent or get opinions on how to deal with him.
I am 38 weeks pregnant so pretty tired and moody anyway but its only him who is getting to me, everything he does annoys me..
He doesn't eat unless I make him something, he will literally go all day without eating or drinking anything unless he is offered something. He hasn't offered to pay for any of the food we have bought etc.. this doesn't bother me to much but at least offer to pay for your own food even if the offer is denied. He leaves his dishes laying around and waits for me to clean them up for him asks me to do his clothes washing and dosen't even say thank-you. He hasn't showered since he has been here and its hot so the smell that is starting to come from him/and the room he is staying in is getting a bit cringe worthy now.
He doesn't take his shoes off when entering my home, he went to the beach today and after I cleaned my house top to bottom he left sand EVERYWHERE and watched me clean it all up.. not even a offer of help or a thanks but I could have done that. He sits on my couch all day so I feel as if I can't relax in my own lounge room or watch TV downstairs. The thing that has annoyed me the most is he leaves the toilet seat up every time he uses the toilet, My husband knows better lol its kind of one of those things that really gets to me. Its 3am in the morning and I got up to use the bathroom, I don't need to turn lights on in my house because I know how to get there and I went to sit on the loo and actually fell in it because the toilet seat was up lol... 38 weeks pregnant and stuck in my loo.. I was very impressed haha.
I realise I sound awful and like I am giving him a hard time but he has no idea I feel like this and I've kept it all to myself but I am getting the point now where I feel like I will explode and lose it! How can I avoid this?
I've spoken to my husband and he laughs and say's well that's what my dad has always been like, he is lazy and I grew up just dealing with it. Well I don't want to deal with it I think when a guest in someone else's home there is a certain standard of living you should abide by. I am any day off giving birth and am really dreading bringing baby home as like all mums we need our space with our new born babies. Can I ask him to live by our house rules or is it rude and should I just let him get on with it? Advice please for a very stressed out mumma :-) x
3 Replies
To be honest I think asking him to obey by your rules might be pointless. People like this usually don't care or become defensive. This sounds like a horrible situation! I feel so bad for you especially been 38 weeks pregnant! Wow... But I think if he's older as well he's less likely to change! I think asking him to take his shoes off and to put the toilet seat down isn't too bad and it's small changes he might be willing to make. Doesn't sound like he will be giving you money or doing your dishes anytime soon though. Haha. Might just have to put up with it for now, maybe ask hubby to help you out a bit more with the cleaning and stuff? And try not to stress about the mess or the little things, you need to be calm for when you go into labour. Good luck!
If I were you I'd tell my hubby that his Dad either does his bit, or that you'll be leaving all housework to hubby. At 38 weeks pregnant I think its ridiculous to be expected to be a maid, chef etc. Pardon my french but bugger that!
In fact on second thought I wouldn't give hubby an option, simply "I'm ready to pop and not in the mood for house guests so you can be your dad's personal slave for the remainder of his stay". Gives you the opportunity to take a well earned rest!
May you remain strong enough to not lose it entirely at either of them! X
Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable enough in your home to help himself to food etc. in regards to the shower I would say something like the bathrooms free if you would like a shower and I've left clean towels for you. Things like shoes I would be straight and say please remove your shoes at the front door and I've left a brush/broom for you to get the sand off so its not all through the house. I would never expect visitors to pay for food unless they didn't want what I was preparing then it would be go get your own.....