I have always had a complicated relationship with my mum and older sister.... When it's the 2 of us my mum while still a very critical person, but will attempt to connect with me(talk, joke) but as soon as she gets with my older sister she becomes a horrible person( eg she will criticise everything in my appearance, the way I choose to parent my 3 y.o. The way I interact with others be it my husband,nephew,sister, etc ) my sister sees my mum regularly (1-2times a week) but waits until large scale family events (birthdays, Christmas weddings) to dredge up her dramas an example Christmas Day she dropped the bombshell that her husband has been using dating websites (costing $200 a month).... Problem is she found out 3-4 months ago and the issue has apparently been resolved. I sympathise with her regarding husband using the sites but why bring it up in Christmas Day months after it's happened?? She doesn't discipline her 11 year old son who lies,and bullies his younger sister. And if I say anything she tells him to disregard my comments. He has no respect for her or anyone else who is adult throws tantrums worse than a 2 year old and it is difficult because I teach my 3 year old that behaviour is wrong but when his older cousin is doing it and being rewarded he thinks he can do it as well. When I was younger I was skinny, had lots of friends was the life of the party, my sister has always been the fatter, bookworm. My mum takes pleasure in telling me how fat I am (size 18-20 just like my sister ) but tells my sister she's beautiful. I have my eyebrows waxed every 2 weeks, while I don't dye my hair I take effort straightening it and styling it before going out to special occasions... My sister takes no effort bushy mono brow eyebrows, hair tied up but messy but my mum will always find fault in my appearance pulling my tops up or if closer to the end of the fortnight telling me my eyebrows are caterpillars. My self esteem is really low because of my weight gain and instead of reassuring me I am beautiful she suggests lap banding. I am sorry this is really long and all over the place I hope it has made some sense.. I just needed to vent I am honestly just so depressed and I need someone to say its ok
1 Replies
Aww that's really sad :-( sorry to hear that!
Really, the only way it's going to stop is if you speak to her about it.
If you can't do it face to face, write her a letter. I find it hard to speak about my feelings face to face :-/
I don't care what anyone says, parents do have favourites.. And it's not because they like or love a sibling more, it's generally because they just click with them better.. Doesn't make it right though.
I hope you can resolve it soon. She may not be meaning to do it on purpose, nor may she even realise she's doing it. Don't say to her, "you make me feel like shit". Actually explain what she says and how it affects you. Just don't let it lead to a huge argument :-( you only have one mum. Good luck beautiful mummy