Hello Im's
I never thought I'd be asking a question but here goes, I've just read some articles on parents leaving children in the car, 5 minutes or more to pick up a script, get a nail fixed or pay a bill, and how much trouble came about (the police were called)
While I'd never do that with my kids and have never (one is grown up now and one is 6) I do leave her in the car (locked) when paying for petrol, but now I'm getting the guilts.
What do other IM's do?
Kids in cars?
Kids in cars?
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt
17 Replies
On the odd occasion I've had to get petrol with my kids I park in the closest to the door lock the car while Iam in and pay cash so I just have to dump the money on the counter and leave.
I only go to petrol stations with pay at the pump or take them in, or fill up when I don't have him.
I try time it for when servos empty then I'll pump fuel move car to the doors and run in and out but leave all windows down an inch while in there incase there's a delay.
If the servo has a few cars in it or people lining up I'll take kids in
I always take my kids with me! I usually leave getting my fuel until my husband is home from work and go get it while his home with the kids
So I'll probably get mum bashed for this
I have 3 kids aged between 8 and 1. My 2nd child has severe Autism and has a meltdown every time we enter a shop. I always park close to the shop doors have the windows half down and leave my oldest child in charge. If I have to pay for fuel I leave them in the car if I have to get bread I leave them in the car. I know the dangers but if your child sat on the floor if a supermarket every time you entered and had a meltdown because of his surroundings overwhelming him you'd probably be just like me. (Do not attempt to say it's my parenting because my oldest son does not do this) I do my best to ensure I go shopping without my kids and always try to make sure I don't have to duck into my local delis but sometimes you run out of milk or need a loaf of bread and you can't help it. Most of the times I always see if one of my sisters are free but of they are and I'm desperate for something I do it. And I never do it in hot weather EVER. I also never do it to get my nails fixed or outside a major shopping centre if I am doing a big shop I only ever do it to get basics outside a deli. There are sometimes situations that call for it like my own and if I only have my 1 yr old with me I take her everywhere.
Maybe u should send 8 yr old in shop to get the milk or bread... If the other child has a melt down in the car... He won't be able to control the other child and anything could happen... Plus then u not leaving them in the car without supervision and can also teach your 8yr old some responsibility and money handling skills etc...
Never do I leave my kids in the car, especially not at a petrol station. They are too precious to leave strapped in a vehicle at a place full of flammable liquids. Sure it might be a small chance of fire/car crashing into bowser/car theft etc but I'm not willing to take that chance. There are ways around it.
But you regularly take them in the car for often not 100% necissary trips? Do you realise the chance of vein hurt or dying in a car crash are much higher than the rush of a fire at a petrol station? Sorry but that logic just makes no sense .
I have baby twins....there's not a hope in hell I'd be getting them out of the car to pay for petrol as I'd need to get the pram out and the whole process would take me about 15 minutes (I'd hate to be parked behind me!) luckily I live rural, the petrol station is tiny and I can see my car the entire time. But I do try to fill up while I'm alone but yes I have left them in the car many times.
When it's pouring rain ill leave them in the car when I go into the post office, once again rural I can actually park right in front of the door and it only ever takes me 30 seconds to post whatever I'm posting.
But I wouldn't leave them if I was going into the supermarket, bank ect
I hate getting the pram out, I despise it. No where has a twin trolley in my town so I have to literally get the pram out EVERYWHERE we go as I can't carry 2 wriggling babies safely and do anything else. I don't feel guilty that's just how it is, twins are bloody hard! If I had 1 baby and a capsule life would be easier so I probably would take them with me.
I have always left my son in the car to run in and pay for petrol however I lock the car and always use the pump near the door so I can still see him. I actually remember being left in the car as a kid, I would never do that with my kids but I don't see why parents make a huge deal about running in to pay for petrol. I would also do it if I had to run in and get milk or post a letter as long as I knew I wouldn't be any longer then a few minutes and I would never leave him in the car on a hot day for any amount of time
Come on ladies, get real! All four of my kids have grown up with the occasional 5 min car wait (in the shade and with the windows down, or with care engine running and aircon on) while quick messages are run. Once they were older (10+) they would ask - can't we stay in the car while you ... (insert here - post the letter, pick up the dry cleaning, get x from music)? You are giving yourselves an awful lot of anxiety for no reason. These little tasks of being good for a few minutes all help them grow up and learn to work as part of their family. BTW the youngest is now 17 and I ask them to take the car to do the messages for me :)
I agree^^
I actually agree with you unfortunately since then the Laws have changed in some states criminalising leaving your kids in the car for even extremely short periods of time.
So yeah I have to take my kid in or pay at the pump or go fill up when I don't have him.
Yup i regulary leave mine in the car (they are aged 8 and over) i did it today actually as i had to drop off the banking from work. I also never take them into the petrol station. Never! And have also done it to get bread, milk etc from the supermarket. I do live in a small regional town though so i feel pretty safe. Also my kids are quite able to get out if the have to. They dont have a problem with it and neither do i. Sorry not sorry
At the end ov the day,the other risk is. Kids touch anything,could make car roll etc. I take ,y grandchildren in car and if I have older teens in car I will quickly run in to pay for petrol. But that's it and they need to be in my sight. Other wise,I get them out and take them with me. Even if it's not hot, I wouldn't forgive my self if some one took one ov them or they caused car to roll etc and ov course the over heating factor. Not worth the disk,to Ma y things Could happen
It is against the law to leave ur child in the car no matter how long for if all off u do that then u all need to be reported for putting ur kids at risk I could never do that to my child /children and i have a special needs child no matter how hard it is or how much of a pain in the bum it is
This issue has come up a few times on the Imperfect Mum over the last year or two. Once there was a fantastic answer by someone who had obtained information from the police and Department of Transport regarding the legislation relating to leaving children in the car to pay for petrol. They even cut and paste an email from a representative of the Dept of Transport to show their wording. To cut a long story short, it is not illegal to leave your children in the car to pay for petrol! I think there are some conditions - handbrake must be on, ignition off, and keys removed. I feel fine about leaving my two in the car - I can see them, I'm only 10 metres away, I have my keys with me so they (or a thief) can't start the car, and it would take a car thief much longer to get it started without keys than it would take me and anybody else who would come to our aid to reach my kids. Don't get the guilts IM, just do what works for your and your family xo