Please help. I am desperately seeking the best family law expert in cairns. I can't fail this. I am with a narcissistic, drug taking, selfish, selfish man. He turns into 'mr amazing' for the sake of all other humans, has a great job, great manners etc and is great with the children infront of an audience but so neglectful when nobody is there to witness his "brilliance" leaving very confused and sad children.
He has told me he will be taking the children 50/50 (they are nearly 2 and 3 and have never spent a night away from me, he choses not to be around for meals, bath, bed, weekends etc) he wants 50/50 so I get less in the financial settlement and he doesn't have to pay as much child support. It's my worst fears coming true, when he has them they are stuck upstairs in the house watching TV alone while he smokes, drinks and whatever else in the garage with his mates. He is sleeping with other girls already and every time I think I've found somewhere to move into he finds a way to put a stop to it. The latest is that he won't give me a cent until the custody is sorted. He has total financial control. I can't see a way out, if I leave without consent orders he will just take the children, god knows what they'd be exposed to and how they would cope. I can't do it to them, but that just leaves me stuck here being bullied into signing agreements etc just to keep the peace with him.
I don't want to stop him seeing the children but my youngest is in no way ready for over night visits and I don't want to split them up but he will get the best lawyer and just do it regardless to save himself money. I'm so worried about them I can barely eat, so please, anyone, lawyers? Advise? Anything.
Has anyone heard of any success stories for relocating overseas if both maternal and paternal families are living in the same country? I'm desperate to protect my babies, ive tried and tried to stay with him to keep them safe but it's killing me inside. Thank you in advance.
Cairns custody lawyers. Please help.
Cairns custody lawyers. Please help.
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Parenthood Guilt, Baby & Toddler
9 Replies
O.P: please would you post to Facebook for me. Thank you
I hope you get some good recommendations on lawyers on Cairns but just wanted to say at 2&3 years old he will get nothing even close to 50/50! That is not in these young children's best interests. Please rest assured that lawyers/judges see straight through these people and they with take he fight out of your hands.... Especially of there are drugs involved! He likely be asked to undergo testing. I know you are not in a good place right now and feeling a million different things but only a few things you need to do. Keep your head held high and keep cool and calm. Do not let him bully you into anything and go seek legal advice ASAP because while there is no order in place he can take the kids and not return them! Any threats to not return them should be shown to solicitor immediately. Good luck!
Best family law barrister in Cairns - Nerida Wilson. You will need a lawyer to refer her but she will fight for YOU.
What is a barrister in comparison to a lawyer? Thanks
I have no advice but sending you lots of hugs!! I could of wrote that! Did we marry the same man?? I hope you find a kick ass lawyer and take back your life with your children.
I'm so sorry. Call me if you want someone to chat to and brainstorm with on: 0415 558 884 I'm going through a very similar situation and are here if you need someone to talk too.
Keep a diary and document all his neglectful behaviour. Make sure u put the time and date and keep it well hidden. Also try and approach centerlink, say u have broken up but are still living together until you find a place. You should be able to receive payments so you have some finances to move out
Not a lawyer but The court will always look to the best interests of the child when determining whom the child is to live with and spend time with.
Section 60CC of the Family Law (Shared Parental Responsibility) Act defines the things that the court must look at when determining what is in the best interests of the child. I included the link http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/flapra2006500/sch1.html
You will need to see a lawyer you may be able to get free legal representation with a community legal service if you meet eligibility criteria.
There is first a requirement that you go through mediation unless you have any exceptions. DV which includes financial control and emotional abuse is an exception. You would need to obtain a certificate from a mediator that mediation is not a viable option for you. You can then with the help of your lawyer apply to the court requesting specific orders that you want made.
With your application you will need to include an affidavit. This will back up why you are seeking the specific orders. You will need to show that it is in the best interests of the children to live with you.
I recommend writing a detailed list of events and examples for your lawyer for them to help you prepare an affidavit. Particularly make sure that you base these examples around the criteria in 60CC It's important to include situation (I.e child is crying because child fell over) response (you picked child up and consoled child/your ex did nothing) and response (child stopped crying and said they felt better/child kept crying and your ex was unable to calm them down)
Get a child support exemption ASAP!!!
Gets him off your back regarding money, threats etc, gives you back control of your finances and most importantly, makes it almost impossible for court to consider 50/50
Best thing I ever did with my narc, got him off my back and 100% care of kids to me