Hi IM's this is a bit of a long story as the lead up till now has spaced out over several years and incidents.
So any advice is much appreciated MIL is a hypochondriac and a server alcoholic as well as a compulsive liar.
When i was pregnant with my now 2 and a half year old my MIL and hubby had a fight that saw her turn her back on him and as she put it "that thing in your bitch of a wife stomach" over us trying to fix her car for her.
we thought we would do this and get it on the road so she would have a car to get around in and if she baby sat she would have to walk every were and when we spoke to her about it she flipped and threatened to call the cops on hubby and have him charged with grand theft auto!
Around the same time i had a falling out with my brother and not long after my son was born ( after hubby went against his own feelings and told her i was in labour telling her not to post it on Facebook, which she did) i talked hubby into giving her a second chance. fast forward a short 7 months she took pics i was using to set up my photography business claiming they were hers posting them all over her Facebook account.
I posted on my page that it would be appreciated if people asked before they took the pictures as they were my advertising material and copyrighted images.
she contacted hubbies brother when drunk and told him i had said she could have them when i had not and that i was just trying to take hubby away from his family, and of course i copped abuse and brother started fighting brother coming to a point were brother said to hubby he would destroy me and the business before it got off the ground.
Hubby decided to give his mum a choice get off the alcohol and ask in person before taking and posting pics of ds on social media. she flat out refused and i have been dealing with abusive texts blaming both me and hubby for her drinking, calling me a coward saying i got hubby to do my dirty work, threatening to have our son taken from us and to have me bashed even went to the extreme of telling hubbies father she was dying, going blind, had cancer etc. to get him to talk to her.
So that brings me to now she has resorted to taking pictures of my son i don’t even know how she got them and putting them as her profile and time line photo. I have had her blocked on Facebook since before the pictures were taken and they were on my profile which she couldn't see.
i figure that someone has given them to her apart from reporting it what can i do to stop this?
i have friends who tell me every time a new pic pops up and she starts bagging us out on social media but the worst part is I’ve found out she has printed these photos and given them to people my husband and i don't know!!!!!! i get that they are her family but i feel sick. What do i do? hubby and his brother have finally mended bridges as she has started playing the same game with him so i don’t feel alone but the boy’s father is trying to get us to reconcile with her saying she doesn't look well or is leaving sad messages on his answering machine even trying to guilt hubby by saying what if she dies or something happens you would regret it if you were not talking to her you need to grow up they have not been together since hubby was 3!!! And he still pays for her things. To the point she couldn’t not afford her rates for a house that is falling down around her and was 6 months overdue he also has another partner he has been with for ten years.
I do love him as a father in law and can see that he feels he owes her as she is the mother of his kids but what can I do to make him see he isn’t helping her or himself or his boys by doing everything for her.
She refuses to apologise to either of the boys and still blames me for everything we gave her a choice and she walked from our sons life.
We don’t feel she is entitled to know him as she has hurt hubby more so than me and continues to do so, I don’t want it to get to a point where I have to seek legal action but feel that there is fast becoming no other choice.
What would you do in my shoes?? How do I stop her period from getting or being allowed to have pictures of my son?
Who can I talk to about this? Three years of this crap is just too much I’ve been to a psychologist for the trauma it initial cased when bub was young and just want it to stop hanging over me and my husband.
Thankyou for reading IM’s
1 Replies
Get your Facebook account down ASAP. You can start a new profile under an assumed name (and block her still) and only friend people that don't have contact with her. Get hubby to do the same. Unfortunately any photos that are shared on Facebook are pretty much fair game legally. If you do put something on Facebook put a watermark in it.
If you haven't done, block her phone number from your phone. There is no reason you need to listen to her or see texts from her.
Take a huge step back. Don't involve yourself anymore. If someone wants to tell you about something she has done politely say 'what she does or says is none of my business thank you so I'd prefer not to hear about it'. It will feel amazing not to hear about it anymore.
Then tell hubby and his brother that she is there mother and not your responsibility. Get hubby to join al-anon.
Then step back