At my wits end with our blended family.
Stepson has no support. I have spent the last few years teaching him all I can. His parents constantly turn their backs on him and I am expected to raise him and I do my absolute best, treating him the same as my biological children. His parents wont feed him, give him medical treatment while he has been extremely skinny and sick for 8 months, (I take him to doctors, pay for and administer medication), they do not teach him basic hygiene, manners or life skills, I do. He is 8 and cannot tie shoe laces or put socks on, will not eat unless spoon feed, does have alot of toilet accidents. These I try but cannot help with due to the parents attitude saying to leave him alone, that hes not my responsibility, in which he is my responsibility in my care and I am obligated to duty of care. This list could go on and on. He does not suffer from or have any disorder that would prevent him from learning new skills. I am not new to this family, I have well adjusted teenagers to a previous relationship, I know how to parent. I have an 8 month old baby in this relationship who continuously get picked on by stepson, I cannot turn my back for babies safety. The stepson says clearly to me that it is him versus me and baby and this his mother will get me. His mother 'coaches' him before he stays with us. His parents do not ever communicate and transfer of child is non parental. I am also well educated and qualified in parenting and welfare fields but cannot get my message across to the parents. They just dont care. It breaks my heart. Where do I stand in all of this? It is a constant battle that is draining me. I am always in trouble for guiding, teaching and helping him and hes rewarded for his laziness and bad behaviour by his parents. I just want to leave now. Its all too much. I do not want this impacting on my biological children. I need help.
5 Replies
Honestly, I'd report his parents for child neglect and take my baby the hell out of there!
I'm assuming your baby is the same father as the step sons dad. So that means your baby is going to be in the same position in a few years time. Now I'm not saying abandon the poor boy. But what I am saying is I couldn't be with a man who treated his child that way.
Your not the person who should be intervening for this boy, the professionals need to intervene and that won't happen unless you report.
Sorry but you do have a duty of care to speak out for the child... This is serious abuse! I could not be with this sort of man.
I appreciate your advice, I truly do. These issues have been reported many times through the proper channels. We have tried counselling and couple counselling, mediation, police in emergency situations etc Duty of care has been a number 1 priority at all times. It is not in my heart to abandon this child knowing that his life will worsen without me. I do not want to be a marter either, just simply want to fulfill his needs. If I leave with my children, I cannot take him, thats kidnapping. Child services said to me last report that the child is still alive and there is an adult who cares for him so that there is nothing that they can do because it is deemed unfair for the child and would cause him emotional harm and distress to remove him. The system is ridiculous. Their hands are tied until the worst happens then it is too late.
I am so sorry :-( that would break my heart...
Have you and your husband applied for sole custody of your step son? If this was viable, maybe having your step son full time would be more helpful to him and your family than just part time.
If you feel the step son is at risk with the mother, continually report it. DOCS have to look into the case if there are enough reports. I know you say Child services have been involved, but it sounds like not enough involvement on their part.
Such a sad situation when its the child suffering at the hands of two warring parents. If only all parents could behave like Adults.