Hi how does counselling for children work. I have a 5yo and 2yo. Both I would like to speak eventually to someone but mainly the 5yo for now. my partner is becoming rough with me and is verbally abusive. Yes leave but for now I want the kids to speak to someone. because of my 5yo and the age how will this work? Are there different tactics they use? I am guessing. I see a phychologist but have just thought it would be good for them too as they have witnessed arm twisting and pushing and other verbal arguements. I dont want them bottling up like me and to know that it is ok to speak and talk to people about it all.
6 Replies
My advice would be to leave counselling till after you are out if that's where it's headed... Counselling will not do any good until you start the footwork of displaying what is acceptable behaviour and how your kids should expect from a future partner. If you want things to work get your partner to counselling because HE is the one with the problem. If he refuses then it is clear what his intentions are and that's to continue mistreating you! Counselling for the kids at this point would be pointless but I wish you luck... I have been in a DV relationship and can say that it will NOT get better. Good luck.
I agree sorry. Save your money and get the fuck out of there. She will learn more from your actions (or lack of actions by staying) then counselling. I do think you need to sit and talk with her as much as possible. Children this age don't always need counselling as much as they just need to feel heard. At this age she should feel safe enough to talk to you about anything, let her express her feelings about your partner and even yourself.
Totally agree. Any good work a counsellor will do will just be undone. It will just confuse her. I work in the field of psychology (not a psychologist) and rarely is it about discussing your feelings these days. The psychologist will want you to be making changes at home. Other wise your just spinning your wheels
Counselling won't do anything until you've left and your 5yo isn't continuing to witness it. Once you have left councelling will do wonders for your child as the situation isn't on going. You may love your partner but staying would be selfish. Mothers are suppose to put their children before themselves. I hope you find the courage to leave. Good luck
Please leave darling, your not doing anything good staying. Leave first then get your 5 year old to see someone.
No amount of counselling will help you gorgeous kids until you get away from the problem. You need to leave and establish a safe and secure home for yourself and your babies and then seek counselling. If you stay there the counsellor has an obligation to report what is going on to community services. I don't think it's very fair that those kids could be put in to foster care because you have chosen not to leave just yet. Put it this way, if your child come to you as an adult saying that they were going through the same thing you are, what would you tell them??