How do I stop being angry with my ex best friend's husband? I was best friend's with a girl for 26 years. I am now 36. She was my maid of honour at my wedding. We were very close for a very long time and I opened up to her completely throughout most of my life. She married a guy who no one thought was a nice person. I also felt this way. She opened up to me about her husband and he was everything that everyone thought he was, but worse. She showed me text messages that she found on his phone that were between him and girls. One of them described him having phone sex with an ex girlfriend of his that she knew. One of them had a photo of my ex best friend's daughter and a girl and he had written under it, "my two favourite people". She would tell me everything about him from putting other things before his family to taking money from the mortgage and not telling her. I stood by her for years and she would just tell me excuses the day after she had told me that she loved him more and that he had explained everything and it was completely innocent. It frustrated me but I hung in there. Recently she had a third child. He left her to go on a sport championship holiday (he supposedly plays for Australia in veteran tennis championships). Her third child was only 2 months old. When he came back after about 2 weeks he was acting very strange, so she looked through a room that he has which is separated from the house (a man cave) and found lots of phones with messages and photos of a girl that he had met on this trip. She sent me everything. She confronted him with it and he denied everything. She told him that she had told me and he got very angry. This went on for months and he denied everything. It was very obvious that he had cheated on her with this girl. We are no longer friends. She told me that she needed to stay with him for her children, even though she didn't believe him. I have lost her and am so angry with him! All I want to do is name and shame him. I have the proof. I'm not normally like this, but I hold so much anger towards him. I also have anger for her. Has anyone been through anything like this? Can anyone suggest how I should get over this? Sorry for long post. :)
2 Replies
Try mindfulness therapy, look it up. It works a treat for this kind of thing. At first it's really hard and requires practice but over time you'll realise you are over it.
Thank you everyone on fb for taking the time to write your opinion. To the people who said that I was selfish and to hang in there, I believe that these comments are unfortunately unhelpful. I did hang in there but I didn't go into great detail of what he did to our friendship. Once he knew that I knew, he would look through my ex best friend's phone at my messages, then my emails and then she couldn't even take my calls. He used to tell her that he "was outside her mates house" (meaning me). She would then tell me and this scared me. To get her to come to my son's first birthday was an absolute mission. The friendship got dangerous and very difficult. Thank you to all the people who were supportive and nice. I aways looked at her relationship with an open mind and never expected her to do as I would. Unfortunately, I think he is very dangerous. He bullies her and makes her believe that she is nothing. She is being emotionally abused. And that is a fact.