Background:- I married into an instant family. I have had my step son living with me full time for the past 8 years since he was 2. My hubby and I have a 5 year old together.
My step son calls me mum but constantly reminds me his "real mum" is so much better in every way despite her having minimal contact with him. I understand that is his way of justifying her behavior and his need/want for her affection and attention.
I have always had a pretty good relationship with him but his constant put downs make it very clear he isn't my son.
My son on the other hand is very affectionate, loving and everything I imagined my child to be.
The problem is, I desperately want another child and my husband doesn't. He says, we already have two and hes happy with that. I understand that, however, it is pointed out daily that I am not the ss mother. It is just not the same no matter how hard I try.
I feel like I'm suffocating under the pain of not having another child. My husband is not open to any discussion and changes the subject every time I try to talk about it or again says we have two already.
I have thought about leaving and moving on so I can have another child but I honestly don't want to. I love my husband and family but cannot seem to get over this feeling.
Has anyone been in this situation? What did you do? How did you move on or what happened??
Please do not tell me trap my husband by getting pregnant as I simply would not do that. I am just hurting so much I don't know what to do.
1 Replies
You need to stop focusing on the desire to have another child. There are lots of reasons people don't get the number of children they wanted (for me it was carrying a severe genetic condition). You can't let it consume you. You make your life full in other ways. Yeah it hurts for a bit, but then you make a decision to be happy and find other things to make you happy. Don't get me wrong there are times I think what if, or I feel clucky but it's more of the feeling like 'wouldn't it be nice if we could afford a bigger house'.
Things like mindfulness therapy are extremely helpful and don't require a psychologist to do :)