Help Mummies,
I am struggling in all aspects at the moment.
I've recently returned to work from 6 months maternity leave and I'm left on the outter. My boss is not talking to me but is setting targets for our team to meet. He will have team catch ups and team meetings when I am not there so I hear everything second hand. My team members are excluding me from everything, and are commenting on what I am wearing and saying I don't need lunch because I go home soon (I work 6am-2pm). I am almost at long service leave entitlements so I don't want to quit. (And on top of everything else through emails from our training department I found out I am expected to complete a diploma in project management and a diploma in business management before the end of the year though nothing has been communicated directly to me). I don't know what to do to improve me work situation :(
My husband isn't helping at home and is leaving uneaten breakfast on the table, bottles in the cot and generally leaving things about the house. He also isn't following the water/formula ratios for bub's bottles. And he wont feed the kids nutritional food and just gives them crap. If I mention any of these things its world war 3.
My three kids (7,4,and 6 months) are my saving grace but I feel like I'm failing them. My 7 year old isn't focussed at school and is constantly in trouble, not to mention the lying and not eating!. I'm pulling my hair out trying to get her to understand. The older kids also yell and scream when bub is trying to sleep so I end up sounding like a cranky banshee every day and I hate myself for it.
I am now up at 3am doing housework because I'm struggling to fit it in my days. But at least I am staying on top of it. But then the husband and kids leaving their belongs lying around and I feel like I'm just a slave.
I am exhausted and I feel like a failure. My husband says I need to relax but to be honest this is something I always struggle with. I physically do not know how to relax. I always stress about something. Any advice would be great
3 Replies
Firstly I'm exhausted and stressed for you.
Time to stop doing housework and spend some time talking with hubby about how if you BOTH work then you BOTH are responsible for housework and tidying up etc. Make a jobs chart then only do what is designated for you. Be realistic, don't expect floors to be vacuumed everyday. But the first rule is tidy as you go for the adults. I'd build in as part of your routine that as part of the bedtime routine your 7 and 4 year old pick up the toys with assistance (it's much faster and once it's established they can do independently). Things just run smoother with a routine.
But honestly if hubby won't lift his game then you may have to learn to live in chaos, find a way you don't have to work, or pay his mummy to come clean up after him as that's obviously what he's used to!
Ok what your boss is doing sounds like discrimination and corporations take that seriously. Report your concerns to hr.
# 1 issue is hubby needs to help! I think a chore chart is a good idea... 2 of your kids are old enough to help so he should be expected to as well... He has a family that he is responsible for. That shouldn't all fall on you. Just a few less things on your to do list a day would help. You are not asking too much! As for work that is all seriously discrimination. I would definitely try to stick out till long service leave although I would start telling people politely but directly that you don't appreciate those sorts of comments and to keep it to themselves! Then if they don't stop I'd report it to HR. Keep a diary of everything starting now though because I'd say you would need it.