Not sure when I lost the relationship with my daughter, I guess it was something that happened over time. Over the last year my daughter (whom is 6) behavior has been progressively getting worse.
She has an attitude that she can do what ever she wants, that's she's right about everything and she doesn't need to do as she's asked. She's very disrespectful to me and hurtful and tells me every day that she doesn't love me and begs me to let her live with her dad.
I've tried everything to discipline her for her behavior (not smacking though i don't believe in that) and I've tried everything from having deep and meaningful conversations with her to taking things and privileges away. I make sure to spend one on one time with her and nothing seems to change.
I spoke to her Dad last night and he's more than happy to have her go live with him, but we haven't said anything to her yet and it's not a decision to make lightly. I love her so much and I really want to repair our relationship. Do I let her go live with her Dad? I just want whats best for her. Things cannot stay the way they are as it's affecting the entire family.
2 Replies
do you know why she wants to go live with her dad? i have had times with my 5yr old who acts the same and says the same thing - but going to see or live with her dad isnt an option, but this has made us even stronger once we came out the other side of the rough patch. I think she trusts more now by my actiions that my love for her is unconditional regardless of how naughty she is, I kept being persistant with her, showing her love, having conversations with her - how i wanted to be treated regardless of how she treated me and eventually she came out of it and we are much closer than ever and have a lot of fun. xxxx good luck mumma
I think it's important to say that 6 year olds are little know it alls!
It's the age where they turn from cute and adorable and needing lots of cuddles into precocious ratbags who know exactly what to say to hurt you the most.
I remember doing it to my mum when I didn't get my way, 'I hate you, I wish I was adopted and could go back to my birth parents'. I was cruel.
Luckily my mum knew that it's but her job to be my best pal, it was her job to parent me. And yeah I was not going to like every decision she made me do, asked me to do, or did too me.
In between those moments though we did have fun times and activities. It wasn't like that all day, but in hindsight I made it bloody hard work.
Now as an adult i think my mum was the best mum! We are so close now, she did exactly the right thing. She stopped letting me see those words hurt her, put on her poker face and followed through on everything she asked of me. My mum rocks!
I got with the program and now as adults my mum is my friend, my go to for advice, and was my birth partner when I had my son.
So my advice don't send her to live with her dad. I suspect that's what she says because she knows it hurts you and because she has imagined that life will be like an everyday holiday where she gets her way all the time. And if it is like that she will not turn out as someone you can admire and be proud of. If it isnt like that she will do the exact same thing to her dad!
Don't send her to her dad's I think you will regret it