to all those in "toxic" relationships

words of encouragement to all who find themselves in a "toxic" relationship...

those in a relationship filled with abuse (whether it be physical, mental or emotional), my heart goes out to you- no one deserves to be treated like that and yes, THAT MEANS YOU TOO!!!
I believe a 'healthy' relationship is one where both parties support and nurture one another and it is filled with love, trust, honesty and laughter- NOT where one party tries to belittle, dominate and alienate the other. all relationships like this are unhealthy and toxic in my eyes.
believe me when I say you have done nothing and I mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to warrant such treatment- it is NOT you who has the problem, it is your abuser.
please know that no matter how hard you try (and I know most of you have, had or will), you will not be able to change your abuser...it is who they are and no amount of 'love' will alter your situation. it is best to just remove yourself and move on- easier said than done I know but it is the best and only real solution.

if you have been hit once, you can rest assure that you will be hit again.
if you have only been grabbed or held, be thankful that's all it was and get out before things escalate and they will, believe me.
ask yourself "what advice would I give my child if this was their life?"...no doubt you would wish nothing but the best for them and suggest they leave before it's too late- if that's the case, take your own advice.

don't listen to the names and abusive words spoken...you are NOT the person they are describing- you are worthy of more and someone WILL love you, you just have to give them a chance.
your abuser is using words to build themselves up & make themselves feel better rather than actually describe the person you truly are.

despite what your abuser tells you and what you will eventually begin to believe if you don't get out, YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU KNOW- and in actual fact, it is you that holds all the power in the relationship. I know in your darkest moments it is hard to believe, but it's the honest truth.
take back control of your life...get yourself (and your children if you have any) to safety. once you leave the relationship behind, your abuser will lose their hold over you and you will slowly begin to see yourself through the eyes of another- there is life and love after the darkness, you just have to believe.
sadly, you are not the first (nor will you be the last) who finds themselves in a toxic relationship...trust that there is life beyond the darkness and someone truly amazing is waiting for you, all you gotta do is take that first step.

plan your escape...
gather documents (hide them if you feel this is necessary- with friends/family, secret email...whatever you can think of really) plus save & hide money if possible. try to keep detailed records of all incidents before and after you leave (again, hide if you feel it's necessary).
alert loved ones of your plans.
there is plenty of support out there, you just need to find the strength and courage to ask for it.

if you are still reading and feel that I am talking to you, I wish you every success.
despite what you think right now, you have the strength to get out- remove the fear and self doubt, take back your life. you can do it, I believe in you xxx...you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be truly loved and above all, your children deserve the world.
repeat after me-
I AM STRONG & BEAUTIFUL.
I HOLD ALL THE POWER...I DESERVE BETTER.
I AM THE MASTER OF MY UNIVERSE, I DECIDE MY DESTINY.

good luck beautiful mummas...you have the love, strength and support of a whole community behind you- you can do it xxx