How do i stop being so insecure with my husband. We have been together for over 10 years, married for 1 and a half and have 2 beautiful children together. I know he is head over heels for me as i am for him, im just so insecure and i dont know why.
I seem to question everything he does, whether its in my mind or to him. I get worried when he txt his female co-workers, when he wants to go out with his friends and when he has to go away for work. I know this drives him crazy ( it drives me crazy too) he has never been unfaithful but there has been women in the past (co-workers) who have tryed to get closer then they should. I intervened and it stopped immediately, i guess i still wonder what would have happened if i didnt tho... i only ever focus on the negative things in life and rearly enjoy the positive things.
i always wonder why he puts up with me and think how im so lucky to have such a wonderful guy. I guess i feel like im the downfall in the relationship. I feel like he has his dream job, he is better with the kids then i am, n i guess just has a much better handle on life then i do. I dont deal well with change and uncertainty. I like everything to be planned out n know exactly where we r going in life. He is much more layed back n just go with it kinda guy. I worry about the future and things that havnt even happened yet. I get so worked up about what might happen that i have anxiety attacks, and this is all over something thats not even happening!!!
On his bux night he went to the strippers, (yes i understand the tradition ect) and i worked myself up for weeks and weeks before and told him my worry. He just seemed to shrug it off or get angry n say it was his right to go being his bux. Anyway he went and got a lap dance, well thats when i went into complete meltdown. Not just angry but so upset i would sit in the shower crying uncontrollably. I felt so worthless as a woman and didnt want to be in my own skin anymore. After that i went on anti-depressants and i see a counselor regularly. I think she is helping but i just cant get over this insecurities. I want to just wake up and stop worrying and get over it.
Atm my main worry is next year he might have to go away alot more for work even overseas. I dont know how im going to handle it. I worry about all the things that might happen. I guess im just asking how can i try and get a different perception on this and stop the worry. I cant keep going like this. Please positive advice, i have enough negativity to deal with already. Thank you.
insecurities with hisband
insecurities with hisband
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression
2 Replies
Honey, it takes a long time to work on these issues. Like years because you have been feeling like this so long it takes a long time to change it. Keep going to your counsellor and keep going to follow ups with your GP as sometimes medication is needed.
Yeah there are some things that hubby handled badly like his bucks night but you shouldn't be internalising what he did.
I know when your in the hole you just want to get fixed fast because it's so painful. I wish there was a quick fix. If your ever feeling really bad don't be afraid to use your local emergency mental health team (your doctor should be able to tell you who they are as in each state it's different). Also don't be afraid to use services like lifeline.
I hope you start to feel better soon.
I feel your pain my story is identical to you, it consumes me every minute of the day, so mentally head F***ing, maybe it's because we love them so much and don't want to loose what we have, sometimes our worst fears consumes us, and all it takes is for close encounters with other women to put silly things in our heads!!! My husband has crossed the line so I think my main issue is not trusting and I hate living like this!!!