I have a son who I love to bits bit who can be horrid mostly when at home woth me . I struggle with depression amd am finding times when I literally want to hirt him which is scaring me .I am not on medicationsa atm for depression. Any other mums been in a similar position and can help this loving but not well mum
7 Replies
Try the Triple P parenting program. I know it seems like kids can be horrid but for the most part they're really not. They just haven't fully learned about boundaries yet so they constantly push them. They are also opportunistic little people so if he sees you as a soft target he'll push and push and push for his own way. I wasn't diagnosed for a long time but I started making changes within myself long before I got to the doctor and it helped me to avoid the medication. There are steps you can take to help. If you need the medication, take it and see how you go. Just because I didn't like it won't mean it can't work for you.
Oh dear! Can I relate to what you're going through! Long story short, after I realized that my snapping at my two year old son could quickly escalate to smacking him and wanting to hurt him, I made an appt with my GP, got therapy, antidepressants and some parenting advise. Absolutely life changing!!!!! It's been two years, and I can say I started to enjoy him sooo much, and his behaviour changed dramatically after I put all my stuff together. Nowadays we have such a strong bond, I will never regret taking the medication. Seek help, you are not alone. Good luck!!!! :) xx
As a depression mum of a daughter with ASD, go to your doctor,get put back on medication and ask about counselling options. I am back on meds again and find I am much much better on them than off.
There is no shame in being on medication to help manage depression, in fact i believe that it shows that you are strong enough and aware enough to go "I am not coping. This is what I need to cope. And that's ok" .
As Charmaine Henderson has said, also look into the Triple P Parenting Program, I have done it and found it really good. Another one is 1 2 3 Magic, which I still use to this day.
Lastly ( reaches out to OP ) HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG! <3
I have been where you are now.
I had the most beautiful little darling girl, and she was a perfect baby...
Just before she turned 2, she became a horrid little trouble maker. She would do whatever she could to get her brother (3.5 years) in trouble. She would scream and kick and bite... Whatever she could do to cause trouble - she did!
I tried a few different things - consequences for actions, taking things off her, time out, little smacks, etc, etc... NOTHING HELPED! NOTHING WORKED! I was on the phone to my Mum every second day, asking her to move in so she could look after my horrid princess :-( I was so happy at the time that her middle name is 'Grace', and that kept reminding me to parent with GRACE <3
Anywayz... after a few months, I tried taking things out of her diet. Turns out that she in Gluten Intollerant! I keep Gluten out of her diet now, and she is back to being my darling little girl again. (She is now 7years old)
Maybe try taking some things out of your childs diet, and see what happens.
(My new baby is gluten AND lactose intollerent, but there are many different food allergies that could be contributing to your childs behaviour)
If you think it could help, find someone who can test for food allergies. P.S - Most doctors won't aknowledge that some foods are a problem, so you might be laughed off if you see a General Practitioner, so you might be better off looking for a Nutritionalist of some sort...
I hope you find answers soon <3
Of course, there are some WONDERFUL doctors who will help in any way they can.
I saw one Dr who told me that she thought it could be coeliac disease, and got my girly tested out for that. She was great! But, I also had some bad experiences, so... if you aren't happy with the results of your appointment, see someone else, if you can.
Please go and see your GP and get some help. Yes triple p and all if those types of things are good but none of it will be any good if your depression is out of control. A lot of the time our children are just reacting to us, if we don't have the energy to give them the attention they crave and are grumpy they will be little beep beep beeps. I am not judging you here I have been there, it's not a fun place to be and when you are really low it's hard to manage anything let alone going to a parenting course and putting it into action. Please just focus on getting you well. You will find the rest will fall into place. Happy mummy happy home xo
I would advice to talk to your GP, I ended up on medication after a few visits when we both realised that I needed it! I am such a happier mum now!! I was very reluctant to take med's because of the stigma but really am better of with them!! I have 3 kids 5-4-2 and together they can be very full on! Wishing you all the best and a big hug!!!