*TRIGGER WARNING* Daughter touched by an older child
I'm a bit lost at the moment and not sure what to do, so I was hoping some IMs could help me figure out if my feelings are appropriate for the situation.
(Sorry for the long story!)
I was at a lunch with my husband and his boss whom I have never met. He has an 8 year old daughter and she was looking after/playing with my 2 year old daughter. The 8 year old was a little pushy but my daughter loves older kids and it was quite cute to watch her mothering my daughter.
Anyway, I walked into the kitchen to grab a drink and found the 8 year old laying on top of my daughter. She jumped up very quickly and I saw her hand come off of the front of my daughters pants. I was a little shocked and the 8 year old quickly said she was "keeping her safe". She then asked me why my 2 year old doesn't wear a nappy as "her 'bits' are wet". The main thing that made me think something wasn't right was my daughters face. She looked TERRIFIED and was starting to panic. I slowly picked her up and told the 8 year old that I would take my girl to the table as she was a little upset.
The 8 year kept coming up and would try to take her back inside but my daughter would start crying and screaming (which is really out of character since shes obsessed with older kids). After we left, my daughter kept pointing to her vagina and saying "Ouch, ouch."
I'm really lost, I don't know what to do! I know kids experiment and its not the girls fault at all, shes just a kid. But my daughter has been really quite all day and very jumpy. I told my husband and he's really upset but doesn't want to mention it to his boss.
Should I say something to his boss? lt was the first time I had met him and I don't want him to think I'm lying about his daughter (who is a very sweet girl). I guess I'm just at a loss of what to do. Thankyou for reading everyone.
4 Replies
Contact bravehearts they are the experts
I have been in touch with bravehearts about a similar situation between an older boy and my daughter and they were incredibly helpful and will give some guidance about what you can do. That is not a normal way for a child of 8 years old to express curiosity. There is some information you can find online about age appropriate sexual behaviours and that is deeply concerning in my opinion. Here is a link to some info http://www.fpq.com.au/publications/fsBrochures/Br_Sexual_Behaviours.php. It is certainly a difficult situation with your husband's boss, and I don't really know what I would do in that situation, but it also concerning that the girl could be exposed to some type of abuse herself. Perhaps it could be brought up in terms of concern for the welfare of the girl, rather than being accusatory, that way her parents are in a postion to get to the bottom of her behaviour.
I was abused by an older girl. Please say something to cfs
I would find the behaviour of the older girl very concerning. 8 year olds don't behave like this unless they have had this behaviour displayed to them. I would definitely be in touch with an organisation like bravehearts which has already been suggested. I think you need professional advice. I work in child care and am training to be an early childhood teacher and from my training I can tell you this is unusual behaviour and I would be seeking professional advice.