What do I do about Santa? I'm an Atheist. I do not believe in god at all, I can not stand the idea of lying to my child to start with, let alone about a faith I have no belief in myself. Also I just feel like it's a major betrayal that will replay in her life forever, (yes I know a lot of you will find that ridiculous but I believe having my daughter's trust 100% is paramount in my mission to keep her safe and or protect her through out her life, until she becomes independent anyway). And before any of you ask yes I do remember finding out and I do remember feeling absolutely betrayed, not at the initial lie but at the follow up lies. So my question is: Do I avoid it all together? Can other mums tell me how that road goes? It's very bumpy I imagine? Or do I just go along with it all but not promote it myself? i.e, that's what some people believe, some people also believe in the tooth fairy, Easter bunny, etc, would you like to believe in those? What do our progressive Mummies think/do?
Explaining Santa for a child of an Athiest
Thursday, 19 December 2013 - 23:13
Explaining Santa for a child of an Athiest
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt
9 Replies
I'm a little confused. Santa has nothing to do with religion. It's Christmas you're having the issue with. Can't you do the whole Santa thing without doing baby Jesus and the three wise men and all of that? Or you don't want to 'lie' to her about anything? What happened to kids being kids and believing in magic and fairies and Santa? Give her the excitement about Christmas and Santa and I'm sure she'll handle the truth when she's a little older. Billions of us have.
Hey, Santa has nothing to do with religion, so Athiest confuses me. - I am also Athiest so for me the meaning of Christmas is just a family time to make the effort to get together and appreciate each other.
The vast majority have fond memories for Santa and the excitement he bought. I can tell you as your child gets older and Santa comes and they are SOOO Excited to show you what they got (because they think you don't know) well xmas morning watching my kids is one of the highlights of my year.
It's actually pretty rare to feel betrayed when finding out Santa isn't real, and judge your parents for it. I would assume if you felt that, it's because there is more to it. Your parents lied about other things as well and it was just another betrayal or something else, I don't know. But please believe most kids get a massive thrill from Santa, and it's really worth doing. Children grow up so quickly, especially in this day and age, I want my kids to believe in Santa, Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, Fairies, rainbows, anything fun for as long as they can.
I'm assuming you mean Christmas itself and where it originated. Just explain to your child 'In our family we don't go to church and we don't follow a particular faith, but for some families this is a very big deal'. Just remember that there will be outside influences. To put it in perspective, you might not (for example) drink low fat milk, but your child will be exposed all through life with people that do. So you cannot avoid the exposure of other religions as your child will meet all walks of life as she grows. Just be honest about your beliefs as a family unit, and when she is old enough she will decide for herself what she wants to believe. I myself do not follow a religion, but I think Christmas is a magical time of year, and I will be teaching my children about where it originated etc because to me I think it is important that they understand it's not just about giving and receiving gifts. As for Santa, he is a special man, and such fun for kids - something for them to look forward to all year. But if you want your child to know the truth, then just be honest - mummy/daddy use our imagination and pretend to be Santa at Christmas time and give you a small gift from him because it's fun, but some children believe he is a real man so let's keep this secret between our family.
Have to agree with Santa having nothing to do with religion. I too am an athiest and dont allow my chidren to do things like RE at school however I did let them believe in Santa and the magic of Christmas. They are young for such a short time and I dont think they struggled when they founf out the truth I let them come to the conclusion on their own that infact it was me who was their 'Santa' like other parebts are their kids Santa. I have 3 who longer believe however I have 1 who is only 2.5 so my older kids know that they are not to tell her or any other child that Santa isnt realand continue the magic every year.
I honestly dont believe your child will lose trust I you when they find out the truth.
I don't believe in god or the Christian beliefs around Christmas. But we do do Santa. I believe he is the spirit of giving, and there is so much magic in everything around him.
it is up to you on how you deal with it. No matter what you choose, your kid will come across others who think differently. I recently had my son come home from school telling me he believes in Jesus because some kid at school had said he was real. So we talked about why HE thought that, and went through that i don't think that. But he needs to think for himself, and maybe he should look for more information then just some kid at school.
i guess what i am getting at is do what you think is best, but be prepared that difficult questions will arise. No matter what. Santa or no Santa. Motherhood is soooo complicated huh!
Thanks guys, I agree with exposure to all religions. My daughter will do RE if they have it at school and we will talk about it and I will encourage her to ask questions because I think it's important she is educated on religion so that she can make up her own mind. She may choose to believe in god, I have no idea. Anonymous comment #2 I think I'll take your advice as that's pretty much where I was heading :) thanks everyone for your input and food for thought. X
We dont follow a religion but explain to our children that some ppl do and my daughter this year asked if we could take her to a church, so i took her to my grandmothers she was more curious than anything else. To me santa is such a big part of christmas for younger children helps explain the tradition of giving. My kids didnt really get into the santa thing too much till they hit school. i dont think its a bad lie to tell your kids and they honestly build their own ideas about him by using their imagination. I feel they grow up so quickly why not enjoy and make the time you have with them being little special. My parents arent religious and we believed in santa and i turned out fine.
Santa has nothing to do with religion. As far as Santa goes, I have never said anything either way. I have never come out and said "santas not real" but I have never said he is either. My kids have made up their own mind. My 8 year old when she was younger decided she would believe in it, but no longer does.
Santa has nothing to do with religion? WTF is Christmas? lol