I'm a week overdue with my first baby and whilst trying to deal with that, My partner of 4 1/2 years also left about 10 days before Christmas and moved to his mums where he still is.
I'm still unsure as to what will happen when baby arrives, we still see each other most days and talk everyday. His reason for leaving was that he said he just didn't love me anymore and that he couldn't keep lying to me everyday and pretending he did. He says he still cares a lot for me , which is apparent when we see each other and talk. Ironically we have probably talked more and done more together since he left. I'm hoping for some miracle when he holds his son and that it may put everything into perspective(maybe I watch too many movies with happy endings) I'm also trying to prepare myself incase nothing changes. We own a house together, cars, pets and impatiently awaiting the arrival of our son.
I just think it's so much to just throw away without trying. We are each other's best friend with no arguing or foul play on either side( apart from him leaving at this crucial time!) which makes it even harder to try to understand.
I don't think I can make any decisions til baby arrives ,so just looking for people that have been or are in a similar situation and what the outcome has been.
Need some moral support at this huge time in my life.
Need some moral support at this huge time in my life.
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Pregnancy
3 Replies
Counselling would be a great start!
What a crap time for him to leave! I'm sorry you're going through all this. This is a bit of a sensitive subject but I have been through it myself so I'm only mentioning out of concern. Sometimes going through such major life changes and having a baby can trigger depression so please make sure you look after yourself and keep talking after baby arrives. I went through some pretty serious stuff when my babies were born and it's really impacted me a lot. I hope you have some supportive friends and family to help you, best wishes xxx (I hope baby makes he much awaited arrival soon!)
I just want to prepare you. There is a huge rush of emotions after a baby is born that make you and him want to nest. Unfortunately after a while reality sets in and things go back to as before. My ex after our baby was born acted like we were back together for about two weeks. After that it was clear that he wasn't really going to be sticking around. Prepare yourself, and get some over the phone legal advice. Have a plan for things like care of the baby before the baby arrives at least mentally agreed on between the two of you. Let him know he can't have it both ways. This will be important as you want these decisions made before the sleep deprivation etc hits.
My ex walked out on me when I was 16 weeks. He said the same thing. I let him go completely and didn't contact him and he didn't contact me either. After 4 years together he just couldn't cope with the idea of having a baby.
On the upside it's the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I'm now with a wonderful man who I'm so much more compatible and happy with.
Frankly, I think he's a dick for doing this to you at such a major time but I firmly believe unhappy parents don't make happy kids. It could be for the best.