Hi other IM's.
Iv been married for 10yrs and have 3 children. For the past 3years I have felt as if I married the wrong gender.
I 'think' I'm lesbian, however am unsure as I have never been with a woman. I look back on my childhood / teenage years and a lot of things about myself make sense- the way I dressed, type of friends, things I did etc.
I have the 'picket fence' life at the moment with a husband who adores me, I question if it would be ridiculous to throw a marriage and everything else away because I question something about myself that I have never partaken in.
What happens if I leave and 'try it' and I'm horribly wrong?
(I do not want a threesome. I have mentioned to my husband that I want to be with another woman and he laces his response with guilt)
Please tell me I'm not alone in this situation? Or know where I can find help or a group etc
3 Replies
I went through this. However it was before I was married and I was a bit younger. I ended up in a short term relationship with another woman. I realized I wasnt a lesbian. Im still attracted to women and I still get turned on by women around me but I know now that I want to be in a relationship with a man not a woman. I think you need to try it. Its the only way youll know... remember though its very common for women to have these desires and not be gay.
I think this is a case of the grass is greener on the other side and wanting an escape route. If you haven't had crushes or been attracted to any women before now why would you suddenly think you are attracted to women? Is it curiosity, boredom? Were you attracted to men previously so are you bi? Personally I wouldn't be making any moves until your really sure what you are really feeling. Go talk to a counsellor.
I find thinking about other women a turn on and sometimes watch lesbian porn. But it's just a fantasy. I love my husband and we have a great sex life. I would stay with him and maybe just fantasise about it. The real thing is very different (I have tried with women sexually before I met my husband ) fantasy is great but acting on it isn't always great. Best of luck.