Hey
Please no judgement
I left my husband due to domestic viviolence and have been in a relationship with a woman for the past 8 months we both have children and decided to move into a house together we have been friends for a long time previous to anything happening between us.how ever the last few weeks have been rough and she has decided to move out and go back to her mother'. She has been extremely mean to me and very emotionally abusive recently this has hurt me a great deal being that she has been my only support over the past year and a half even being the one to the police on my ex. I feel like I have lost my best friend and the only person that has ever loved me for who I really am flaws scars and all and god knows there are are plenty of the.. Right now I'm living pay check to patches trying to support myself and my daughter who is 2.5 and in all honesty I'm not coping at all I'm depressed and sick I have lost 10kg in 3weeks I have no support network I'm working full time and feel like I'm completely ignoring my daughters wants and needs as I just don't have the energy to do anything more then I absolutely have to. I don't think I even really have aa question I just need to get it all out indeed so unsure and scared and my ex husband is harassing me even with a dvo in place I have no one left and I feel like ending it all the time the only keeping me here's my daughter and how much of love hher I havno friends left and I'm tother afraid to let any one in it have been bottling all this upr months now and on all honesty I'm not sure how much longer iI can keep everything going into can feel my body shutting down my life has never been an easy one I suffered from sexualy abuse as a child and it seems to have followed me all the way through iin some way or another. Please help I want to be ok for my daughter is dont want her growing up with a mmother isn't able to care for her and give her every opportunity and right now indeed like I'm failing at everything but especially at looking after her. But I'm just so hurt and angry and sad and alone I havnt spoken to anyone over the age of 3rd weeks and I feel like I'm about to do something stupid and fuck everything up even more then it already is.
4 Replies
I think you are very brave, you have been through a lot in the past and it's ok to feel down. I'm sure you have a lot on your mind but I really think some counselling could help you to work through your problems. You are the most important person in the world to your little girl and you should do it for her. You deserve to be happy too. Big hugs for you, it sounds like you aren't in a great place.
Please, please, please go to your GP, get a mental health plan so you can see a psychologist. You deserve to be happy and rebuild your life and a psychologist can help you get there.
Hey lovely,
Firstly a huge hug to you and good girl for reaching out to us! Hopefully amongst these thousands of I.Ms there will be responses that will give you hope and keep a little fire in your heart alive.
Secondly dont do anything bad! Your daughter needs her mummy!
It sounds like you've had so many hard knocks in life and all your pain is building up against you :(
can you please tell me you will book an appointment with a GP to discuss these feelings of wanting to end it all? Are you receiving counselling? I think it would really benefit you to speak to someone, let out all your pain and they will be able to help you make a safety plan when your feel the lowest of lows!
Is it possible for you to take some leave from work? You could get a medical certificate from your GP visit and maybe go away for a couple of days with your daughter and do some special things. Go to a beach and enjoy playing in the sand, find an adventure playground, eat fish and chips for tea in the park and enjoy a summer evening...
I wish I had more answers or suggestions that could help fix how your feeling, I will say a prayer for you xxx
You are a strong women! Look what you have made it through so far, be proud mumma!!!
You are so allowed to be depressed at the moment you must let yourself grieve. But also plan something to do with your daughter atleast once a week even if its just a walk to the park. Fake happiness till you become it.
Finding someone to chat to would definitely help maybe even just online.