Hey imperfect mum
I need some advice since my baby was born 4 months of age now my partner has been very jealous and protective to the point of stalking me into town when I'm only paying bills because he thinks I'm cheating on him
My partner and I had a domestic dispute were he physically hurt me and I put an intervention order in place then he kept constantly calling me 56 ph calls in an hour and leaving messages like he is going to kill my exes that I don't talk to or kill himself.. Now I have gotten phone calls for a mental institution that he has been admitted too. Involuntary... But he is still asking about Christmas ect.and he has apologised for hitting me then next minute accuses me of cheating
But my main point is I'm feeling guilty now that he has been admitted. Have I done the right thing for me and my child to get out or am I being irrational cause he has only hit me three times... I really love him but want him to get the help he needs I would never take his child away he can have supervision visits but.I'm feeling bad now that's his has had a mental breakdown over it
domestic dispute
domestic dispute
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Men's Business, Relationships
4 Replies
You are 100% doing the right thing for getting out of this relationship. Do not feel guilty. Mental illness DOES NOT excuse abusive behaviour of any kind. Most people who have mental illness are NOT violent or emotionally or psychologically abusive. Being hit three times is three times too many. There are no excuses. Do not let him guilt you and do not feel like you have to look after him. In fact you taking him back could ruin his treatment plan and set him back and make him worse than ever.
He needs to get well with the help of professionals with out you and it sounds like you could do with some mental health sessions yourself to get yourself strong and truly understand that going back to him would be disastrous for you and your son.
For a child to grow up in a violent household and abusive household wether there is mental illness involved or not would be teaching a son to teach you and other women in a way that is totally unacceptable and would teach a daughter that it's ok for men to treat her in an abusive way. Totally psychologically damaging to children and setting them up for failed relationships as adults.
Not you. Keep making the good decisions for you and your child and your lives. His issue isnt because of you, nothingis because of you, he has issues & would have regardless of the trigger, he needs to help himself & youneed to protect yourself. Keep going & dont doubt yourself, i know its hard when they pull on your heartstrings, but you know you did the right thing.
Only 3 times??! That's 3 times TOO MANY. He hasn't had a breakdown because you left, he's had one because he's unstable and unfit to be a husband and father right now. It's good that's he's been admitted because he can get help and you and your child can be safe. Guilt won't help either of u so concentrate on your child and let the future show what it will hold. Never tolerate violence for any reason and never justify it. Hopefully he will get the help he obviously needs and you can work things out one way or another in the future. focus on your baby's first Xmas and be with family and good friends. Hugs
3 times to many.
Mental illness is serious and it's an illness that will fight to stay. That's why he's saying those things to make you change your mind. You'll be better as will he if he stays in and recovers properly.