Plzzz I need help/advice....
My 16 year old daughter has a boyfriend. I thought he was lovely, but hubby picked up a bad vibe from him. Long story cut short. He tried to commit suicide, phoned my daughter and told her that he was going to do it, he didn't go through with it, in the end. He said he did it for attention, he love's attention.
I don't want this life for her. She's supposed to be having a great time in her life, we have told her she is not allowed to see him anymore, have we done the right thing. Advice mummas please.
5 Replies
I think telling her not to see him again will just push her closer to him, and push them to hide their relationship. Yep it's an unhealthy one and yeah the guy is probably manipulating her so all your doing is forcing her to hide his manipulations from you (which is an abusers 1st step). Time to get yourselves some professional help to help you navigate this mine field. Unfortunately this age is the toughest because you've got to do things in a way where they think it's their decision.
I agree with the poster before. Do you know his parents? If so why don't you discuss this with him? Also maybe discuss it with the school counsellor so they can help assist with this (from her perspective)?
When I was a teenager I was with a guy like this. My parents told me I couldn't see him and banned him from our house, which pushed me away too because if he wasn't allowed at the house, I never wanted to be at the house either. So I left and got into all sorts of trouble. My parents would've been better off warning me what they thought of him but not banning him from our house because in doing that I ended up in all sorts of trouble. If I had have been able to have him at home I wouldn't have gotten into the trouble I did. In the end I realised what a bad person he was but because of everything that happened I now suffer anxiety and mild PTSD.
I do know the parents but find them non approachable. They seem to put there noses down at us. I have talked to the boyfriend but he throws it back at me. He put on the water works and told me that his life is really hard.
At 16 I was living on my own, working and supporting myself. Sorry but I think telling her what to do and who she can see at 16 is ridiculous. She is just going to see him behind your back now which will make things a lot worse. Hopefully she comes to her senses on her own. Good luck