Hi IMs..
I need some help, reassurance, direction, or something...
Problem- birth with my first and only was awful. Traumatic, labour was 48 hours, it was extremely painful, slow recovery with extended pain, I was weak, lost 2L of blood and by the time she was out I was numb and felt nothing.
Couldn't walk for 2 days afterwards and couldn't breast feed, after 3 weeks of trying I was only putting myself in more pain.
I need to know, has anyone had such an awful first birth, and how on Earth did anyone get past the trauma of the first one? I think I want another baby but I am absolutely terrified of birth. Whether that be natural or c section. First was natural with assistance (forceps)... I was so drugged up it was awful. I don't remember much. Was able to piece together bits with the birth summary by the doctor.
Please don't be nasty. I can't believe how much it is screwing with my head I am terrified...
7 Replies
A lot of time they will be able to offer you a c section if you are traumatized by first. If that's something you would prefer. But remember in same ways it's worse as you will have tummy pain for weeks etc. I would say most second births aren't as bad but docs should be able to explain risks. Good luck don't let it stop u from anothrt
I was very traumatised after my first birth for different reasons. 3 years on I'm still too scared to go back although my doctor did tell me the best way to move past that fear was to have another baby and have a better birthing experience. She was very reassuring and said 'we will make sure next time is better for you'. But I have decided next time I will be booking a scheduled c section, you will know in yourself what's right for you. A bit of counselling may also help you move on :)
Ok, it would probably my help if you went to a counsellor to help you work through feelings etc. also look at the numbers. I know it sounds odd but numbers are really comforting. By the numbers I mean what are the chances of the same thing happening twice. Some conditions, like my sisters make it highly likely that consecutive birthing experiences will be identical to her first. My first birthing experience was extremely unlikely to reoccur.
https://www.facebook.com/pinky.mckay.fanpage/posts/10152679173328153
Time is all I can say I lost a fair bit of blood and what started as a supposed c-section prep ended in a natural breach birth and what looked like a murder scene its been 3 years I'm now 15weeks with bub number 2 and shitting bricks its worth talking to you're Dr about you're fears if its causing you anxiety its only going to get worse In you're head been there its no fun x
I share your pain and thoughts. First and only child who is 5 now and would love another one but absolutely terrified of going through labour again.. I too was drugged up and 48 hrs of Immence pain my son had to be "suctioned" out. Sorry no advice but will be following your post, and know you're not alone!
I had a very traumatic first birth also. 54 hours worth! Long story short went on to have another baby and she came so quickly she was born in the emergency ward of the hospital with no complications at all. Just because your first was difficult doesn't mean your next will be. Best of luck :)