Sorry this is so long. Not sure what I'm even expecting posting here but I just needed to get this off my chest and dont have anyone to talk to.
I honestly dont know what to do. I'm a full time mum and I hate it. I love ny children more then anything but I've always known I didn't want to be a full time stay at home mum. I love working. But circumstances havrnt allowed me to continue to work so far. Not with only having one car, no family/friend support network and with ny husbands work. I study, I keep the house clean but I'm not happy. The longer I'm home the worse I feel. I feel like im wasting my life and my brain. I dont have many friends and don't make friends easily at all. I don't deal with other peoples kids very well so I dont do play groups etc. I just feel miserable all the time and regret having kids even though I do honestly love them but if I didn't have kids my life would be exactly what I wanted it to be. Im not a big talker of problems and even when I try to talk to my husband it ends in argument because I feel so damn angry all the time. I dont expect replies or anything because I don't expect anyone to read this but I just had to post so it wasn't everything I think about today. I dont know what in hoping to achieve from this other then maybe push it out of my head for the rest of the day. But I feel like my life will never be even remotely what I want it to be and I don't know how to handle that or change that.
7 Replies
Re evaluate, you maybe surprised if you head back to work and put kids in child care, you may find catching the bus and not earning anymore money than you pay for child are worth it!
I know exactly how you feel. Except for the being stuck at home full time part and one car, I could have written this myself!
First I would start with a trip to your GP to assess you for depression. They may give you a referral to a pysch for further assessment. This won't change your circumstances but may help to initiate further, long term change.
Do you ever get out on your own? A girls night? Where are you based?
How about getting involved with sport, or scrapbooking (there are clubs around) - or something YOU have an interest in. Make it a point to discuss it with your hubby and tell him how badly you NEED it. I completely get you on not being stimulated. I'm sure others will have some more suggestions. Good luck, and I'm relieved I'M not the only one out there who feels this exact same way!
Thanks for your reply IM. This is my post. We have just moved to the gold coast so don't have any friends here at all to go out to visit or nights off etc. I'm not one for discussing my problems etc with anyone not very good at it with hubby either. On here was ok no one knows who it is lol. I used to scrapbook etc but atm there is no spare cash for me to do anything else other than my study.
omg it was like reading my own thoughts!
please don't think you are alone. is there a possibility for you to get a casual job or volunteer work? im a causal worker, although I haven't had the chance to go back to work after my 3rd baby due to my partner being a shift worker and lets face it 3 kids under 4 means my life has no schedule lol but when I was working even a couple days a week I felt better. my mind was being used, I was talking to adults, I was making a contribution to the households finances and my partner and I fought less because he actually did stuff around the house. so if it is possible I highly recommend something like casual or volunteer work xx keep your head up.
oh hun, i hear you! fulltime stay at home mum, 1 car and studying! struggling with my own identity big time! We moved just before my now almost 2 yr old was born so i dont have many friends and it is so so hard! I have found my study has helped so much, keeps my mind busy and interested in something other than my kid! We are buying another car next year, i never realised how much i craved freedom and even though it will put a big dent in our finances, it will be worth it for my sanity. I dont know if thats an option for you? Remember its not forever, they will be in school soon enough and you will get your life back! I wish i had advice for you, just know you arent alone in feeling that way xo
I could have written this!! Except my fella is sick and I'm his f/t carer.
We also have kids. There are days I think that, much as a love them, if I didn't have them perhaps I could work at night and be freer to help us financially.
Because I can't afford care, or work away from home I began hosting a local market very couple of months. I use a small venue and the insurance thy jaw covers it reducing a cost for me - or you get stall holders to give you a certificate of currency for theirs and go from there. You'd just need a colour printer to print out some flyers and a Facebook page. It's easier than you'd think. You work when you want, socialise as you want. I find it great when you have a very small support network - if you have one at all. It's a great way to network in the community for future jobs too.
Sorry- *the insurance the venue has covers it