On the weekend my 16 year old daughter caught the bus into the city (approximately 20 minute trip from home) to meet some friends.
It was 1pm in the afternoon.
As she sat down on the bus, she noticed a man towards the back who was behaving erratically. The front of the bus was full and it was quite apparent other passengers were giving this guy a wide berth.
I’ve taken my kids on public transport and into the city since they were babies so they’re all pretty street savvy and aren’t easily shocked, so she knew to give this guy some space and ignore him. She opted to sit in the middle of the bus behind/near all the other passengers.
After a few minutes she noticed he kept leering at her and moving seats to progressively get closer to her. A few more minutes pass and she’s keen to get off the bus, she presses the buzzer and moves to the front door near the driver to get off a stop early.
This man also gets up and stands right behind her as if he were also getting off. Bypassing the much more convenient back door.
Driver stopped and opened the front door and it was at this point my daughter felt like she was genuinely in danger, knowing the next stop was much less isolated she told the driver she accidentally got the wrong stop. When my daughter didn’t get off, the man also sat back down right next to her.
Driver either didn’t clock what was happening or he didn’t care but he showed nothing but annoyance towards my daughter and treated her like she was an idiot.
The next (and final stop) rolls around. All the other passengers depart the bus, quickly as to avoid the crazy man themselves. This man blocks my daughter’s exit to tell her how beautiful she is and say some other inappropriate shit. She shoved past him and thankfully her group of friends are waiting for her. This all happens right within eye sight of the driver.
This man hassles their group for a bit until one of the boys in her group told him to eff off.
There is also security in the vicinity at this stage. They eyeball the guy but don’t intervene in the slightest.
We reported the incident to police and the bus company of course.
But I am furious.
Furious that my daughter can’t just exist safely in this world.
Furious that she was surrounded by adults in this moment who all turned a blind eye.
I’m proud that she listened to her gut in this situation and knew how to keep herself safe but I’m furious that she had to.
What the fuck is wrong with people, honestly…
1 Replies
We SHOULD be able to go anywhere we like without being harassed or attacked. But we can't, so strategies are important.
Self defence classes might help - I did some in my early 20's and it gave me more knowledge on how to react. Still no way I could fend off a larger attacker but I learnt how to not look like a target & how to react.
Most importantly she needs to react proactively. These creeps go after women because we're taught to be passive, not fight back & they feel safe continuing. There's an ex cop online (google him) who tells women how to fight back, not be passive. It might even be telling him to stop, making the driver aware or calling the police before getting off.