I found out that he’s been cheating our entire relationship. Years and years together and kids. All different women. I’m completely and entirely destroyed. I built my life with this man. I loved him with everything I had, and he never even liked me. I don’t want to be here anymore. I fear I’m sinking into depression. He’s changed me and who I am. How dare he! I’m just existing now. Everything was a lie the whole time. My kids deserve a better mother. My heart hurts.
2 Replies
No, your kids deserve a better father. You are just fine. You have shown them what a loving committed partner you are. He on the other hand has shown what he lacks in morals, and respect for his family.
I know in these times, leaving isn't always financially accessible. But please leave, or kick him out. Change the locks while he's at work, and seek legal support for family court, and custody arrangements. If you share a bank account, open your own, and take half of what's there keep documents of what you have taken out. In Australia, you have to wait a year before you can divorce. So document the day you asked him to leave. Like via text. Print it for safe keeping. Tell him he can come get his things on a certain date, and make sure you have a support system with you when he comes.
Get your kids into councelling asap as this will affect them more then any one. And get help for yourself too.
Currently going through exactly this. 16 years together, children, the works. All came crashing down overnight. All because he got too cocky and I called him out on inappropriate behaviour with another woman. He told me he hadn't loved me for years and that I'm the problem. Me, me, me. No accountability whatsoever on his part. I was distraught. I was ready to leave this world. But i had an excellent support network. More people than I thought I had. Rely on your people. They will get you through the darkest days. Reach out to your doctor and try and get some support via counselling. I can't tell you how good it has been to break down everything with someone unbiased and educated in these behaviours. Your kids HAVE the mother that is best for them. You are enough and while it doesn't seem like it will get any better, it does. It's always darkest before the light. I'm 20 weeks post separation and my light is already coming back. You just have to give yourself time to process and grieve and heal. Stay strong x