I have recently found out the gender of my baby. I am devastated to say the least. I walked out of the clinic and burst into tears. I cannot find information anywhere. My husband isn't supportive, I don't think he understands. Everyone I have talked to says "it's ok, you'll get over it" or "you should just be happy it's a healthy baby" or "it'll be different when you hold your baby, those feelings will just disappear". Not helpful. I realise gender is a 50/50 chance, and I know I should be happy, in fact I'd love to be happy, but I'm just sad. I don't feel a connection with my baby, I just feel weird and fat.
6 Replies
Go get some counselling, they can help you work through these feelings. Speak to your GP first. Not everyone feels a connection before meeting their baby, so your not alone, but don't struggle through in silence, get professional help from people who don't feel obligated to say trite words of comfort.
I understand your pain I'd give the world for a little girl just can't imagine my life without one it's ok to feel let down but I guarentee when your holding your baby and life goes on reality sinks in and you wouldn't have life without them :)
You dont say what # child this is i think that adds to the desperation of your feelings. When i had my first i didnt find out because i wanted a boy & its true when i saw her i had a little moment of disappointment, but totally adored her. Now i wouldnt change one single thing about her.
Im now pregnant again & havent found out yet but i know how you feel. I really want a boy, so much that i need to find out this time, but i think i will need some time to 'get over it' if its a girl.
I think we just have to let go of the dream we had for our lives. It takes some time to come to terms with that, especially if its your last child... Give yourself time & seek psychologist if youre still not dealing with it.
This was me with both my pregnancies! I desperately wanted a boy and I ended up having a girl and then second time round I wanted another girl and got a boy! Both times I found out early so that I had time to process it all but ultimately I am blessed to gave two happy healthy children and I wouldn't change them for the world!
First of all hi :/ I know exactly how you feel I've been here with my second and it's devastating and very hard to understand. I can't tell you exactly how I got past it because it was a very personal experience that I couldn't put in words if I tried. I found myself crying over it in the most random and inconvenient places, I didn't want to be pregnant anymore and i felt heavy and burdened. I had my reasons for being devastated but it was so surreal and incomprehensible I just couldn't get my head around it. I loved my first from the moment I found out I was pregnant and I felt the same with my second until that stupid ultra sound. Honestly don't know what to say to you except give it time and think about the positives, bub is healthy, bub is strong and most of all talk to him/her give them a pet name I called mine little monster and talked to him all the time telling him my darkest secrets and how disappointed and upset I was at him being a boy I would put my hand on my stomach and push him around gently just to annoy him because i was annoyed and eventually one day it just didn't feel so heavy. When he was born i felt different to when I had my first everything just took longer and felt like it took more energy then it should but every time I looked at him my heart would reach out, my thoughts would be like "he's kinda cute" :) "jeez he's a good sleeper", "I made that and he's pretty awesome" :) he's now 18months old and my little legend love him to bits and wouldn't change him for anything. Due to the rough horrid 4 years I've just been through I have had a lot of counselling and also done a lot of reading into the power of positive thinking and it has helped me phenomenally. Big hugs xx
I just had a little boy 4 days ago. I have never wanted a little boy. It took a long time for me to accept that I was having a boy. Now that he is here his gender isn't even on my mind. He's asleep in my lap at the moment and I just can't stop staring at his little face. I am smitten. I didn't have that rush of love at first sight but my love for him is definitely here now.