Hey Mums,
Just putting this out there in the hope I’m not alone—and maybe get a little reassurance.
I'm a millennial (late '80s) and we did everything we were “meant” to do: saved for a deposit, bought a $400k home (four hours from family to make it work), and live modestly. We pay minimal childcare after subsidies, my husband stays home two days a week, and we’re grateful for what we can manage.
But despite our best efforts, we’re still struggling.
We have no savings. After insurances, mortgage ($600/week), groceries, and basic bills, there’s nothing left. We earn just under $160k combined before tax, no car debt, a little credit card debt—but still feel constantly stretched.
How are people going on holidays? Buying new cars? Do they have help? Secret debt? It’s hard not to worry what happens in an emergency. Every creak that I hear in my budget home gives me a heart attack because I'm scared it's something that's broken that I can not afford to fix.
I know we’re lucky in many ways—but I didn’t expect to feel so financially fragile.
Anyone else feel the same?
32 Replies
After paying tax and mortgage you have around $1800 a week to pay other bills and food. Unless you have an army of kids, that is plenty, I'm going to be blunt and say this is a you problem, not a cost of living problem. Have a better look at your budget and see where it's all going.
Really? Because we only bring home 4000 a fortnight? Also after mortgage, we pay car, home, contents, life, health, fuel, groceries. Everything is so expensive it comes close to that.
Get your life insurance through your super, its cheap and won't affect your cashflow. yes, there are limitations to it, but if you can't afford outside super, you'll end up cancelling it anyway.
Big car loan? So many people over spend on cars unnecessarily.
Cut down on your insurance, everyone is guilt tripped into health insurance but if you weigh up the cost v what you're getting out of it, it's not worth it. It's not even worth it for hospital cover.
I completely disagree. $160000 isn't a big 🏠 income anymore and what you suggest cutting out is essential for a lot of people and also decreases your tax
The insurances probably cost as much as the house. They are not worth it if you're not living a balanced life because of them. Imagine your kids getting to adults and realising you did f all with them because you were too busy working to pay for insurance. Doesn't make sense at all and I don't think either of them are earning enough to be saving that much on tax by having private health. You're better off having that extra money, you can pay for things as you need it and start to save money.
I agree, we also have medicare in this country. I have a child that has needed a lot of medical procedures/ops/specialist appointments in their life. If I had HI, I would be broke paying the gap for all this. To me it's a luxury if you can afford it, otherwise, the public system is fine.
What about the waiting lists in public hospitals? I would be so upset if I couldn't get immediate support for my child. How do you pay for dental, optical and other extras like podiatry? Like all out of pocket? I'm so scared of getting rid of health cover then needing it. It has already covered a $1000 ambulance ride for our son this year. I'm also covered for travel from our rural area plus immunisations outside of the regular schedule.
My husband is a tradie and ruptured tendons at work. WorkCover were stalling his claim because after 3 weeks, surgery (that Medicare doesn't fund) wouldn't be effective. Unfortunately, he would have lost the strength required to stay employed. We knew WorkCover had to accept his claim so we used private health to arrange the surgery. 10k out of pocket until WorkCover realised we had booked and paid. Then they approved his claim that day and paid up to a certain amount back to us. Ended up being 3k out of pocket to save $130k income per year. Private Hospital is not a waste. In fact, with other stuff going on, it covers multiple surgeries each year which means we're not stuck on waitlists deteriorating.
The OP is right. Cost of living has raised by a lot and while insurance might not be worth it to you and your circumstances, that isn't the case for many others.
My ex broke a tendon in his finger fixing the vacuum cleaner and they operated the next day at Dandenong hospital.
Your problem wasn't a public hospital problem, it was a workcover problem.
Thank you for writing this, I was beginning to feel really lowsy and that I am just an indulgent overspender....
Are you kidding, if a child needs important surgery, there's no wait list. The ortho surgeon even arranged to do one of the surgeries during school holidays. My ex partner had an urgent surgery, done the next day and needed major surgery once, about 2 weeks wait. This is over 2 states also. Dental, well I get the free 1100 per year and my kid has actually never needed a filling (17). Why do you buy this crap about wait lists? If you're 60 and retired, yes they may make you wait for a new hip, but urgent surgery for working parents and kids, they don't delay. Yes cosmetic surgeries I've heard can be a wait. I've have specialist appointments with so many different departments, operations, allied healthcare for the past 17 years in the public system, haven't paid a cent, can vouch for the service.,
Oh and my kid has worn glasses since around age 8. We go to spec savers each year, costs me about 270 for his glasses. When he was little and the prescription was simpler, I think we used to get 2 pairs for 100 bucks. He now has bi-focal or something, plus anti-glare for computer screen etc. so just get 1 pair a year,
Oh in QLD, ambulance is covered with your electricity bill. I thought you could buy annual ambulance membership really cheap in other states, I remember about 20 years ago in Vic it was like $50 per year?
Also, I'm in regional QLD and 90 percent of our specialists have private practices. I see them at the public hospital for free and people see them at their private clinic and use their HI and have to pay a gap.
I understand your fear, I guess I would be the same if I wasn't thrown into the public system 17 years ago.
I knew a woman having radiation treatment for cancer privately through her private health. Every time she went she got a bill of $200, it was the "gap". It was killing her at a time when she didn't need the extra bills.
She asked them, if I went public, what would be the difference in treatment?
They told her she would get the same treatment for free, but they wouldn't be able to accommodate her "preferred times", she would be subject to their schedule.
Fact, private health insurance holders are subsidizing those without it, it's up to you whether you want to be the subsidizer or the subsidizee.
Trust me, if you ever end up in emergency for something major, like heart attack, car accident etc. and have major life-saving surgery, DO NOT use your private health insurance. You have the right to choose if you wish to be a public versus private patient. If you do choose to be private, after recovery you'll be in for a new world of pain but on the upside, you may get a private room (after you're out of ICU, the private versus public rules don't apply there, they are just trying to save your life), up to you.
If you plan on having more kids, keep it for yourself only, I only got it for pregnancy/childbirth.
If you're finished, I would get rid of it.
As I said, emergency situation, DON'T USE IT...
Why do public hospitals ask you to use your private health insurance?
Public hospitals encourage patients to use their private health insurance as it gives the hospital money from private health insurers, on top of the subsidy they get from the government through Medicare.
However, private health insurers argue that the practice is contributing to the rising premiums for private health cover.
Pros and cons of using your private health insurance in a public hospital
The pros
You may be given a private room if one is available.
You may be able to choose your medical specialist (although this is unlikely in a life-threatening emergency situation as you'll need to be treated immediately).
The money that your health insurer pays out for your admission may benefit the public hospital.
The cons
You're less likely to be able to choose your medical specialist than you would in a private hospital.
You're not guaranteed your own room.
You could be left with out-of-pocket costs for your surgery, anaesthesia or other treatments.
You may be charged the excess on your health insurance which could be up to $750.
Your treatment and hospital stay may not be any different than if you were admitted as a public patient.
This is my exact experience:
In a public hospital, you may have access to more services, especially if you have a complex health condition, need emergency treatment or if you live in a rural area.
Why might I choose a public hospital?
Australia's public hospitals provide high quality medical for free to anyone with a Medicare number.
They tend to be more accessible, especially in rural areas. Public hospitals may have better medical facilities for your condition than private hospitals and are usually equipped to handle more complex medical situations.
If you are admitted as a public patient to a public hospital:
You will be treated by doctors selected by the hospital.
You will not be charged for medical services, hospital accommodation and other relevant services.
Your follow-up care will be provided in an outpatient clinic run by the hospital.
For these reasons, public hospitals are usually the FIRST choice for emergencies or acute health issues. The MAJORITY of emergency department and outpatient services in Australia are provided by PUBLIC hospitals.
If you are admitted to the emergency department of a public hospital, you will be covered by Medicare. Emergency departments in private hospitals may charge a fee, which might be covered by your private health insurance, if you have coverage.
Why might I choose a private hospital?
If you choose treatment in a private hospital, you MAY have more options:
You can choose your own doctor (some doctors only work in a private hospital).
Waiting times for ELECTIVE (planned) surgery are USUALLY shorter.
You MAY be able to choose when to book elective surgery (DEPENDING on availability).
You MAY get extra services, such as a private room.
Your doctor will usually provide follow-up care in their private rooms.
When the local hospital realised my nana had a 90% blockage to her heart, where was she sent? St Vincents - PUBLIC, op within 24 hours, quadruple bypass. No charge. She had PHI too.
When I had an eye infection so bad the GP was worried I would lose site (twice), where was I sent? Royal Victorian eye and ear hospital, public, Cairns Base hospital, public. No charge.
Where did the ambulance send my nana when she was in a horrific accident and nearly died: The Alfred - PUBLIC. No charge, months in hospital, access to the best in the field, saved her life on the operating table TWICE.
When my cousin has a seizure, already diagnosed with breast cancer, went to her brain, where did the local hospital send her in an ambulance to? St Vincents, PUBLIC. Op within 24 hours. No charge.
When they thought my ex had TB/cancer, where was he treated? Monash medical centre, the best in infectious diseases. PUBLIC. No charge.
Where is the expert pharmacist that provides advice to women all around Australia about safe medications to take during pregnancy? Monash Medical Centre, PUBLIC.
Private health is great for pregnancy, same obstetrician, nice hospital, only reason to have it. However, if anything major goes wrong, very premie baby etc. you do know where you will be sent.
Believe the PRIVATE physio if you want or do some actual research.
What hospitals are making the actual medical breakthroughs?
If your kid may need braces, maybe get extras.
If you're going to have a baby, keep it for yourself.
Take out ambulance membership in your state.
Stop believing the crap.
Where was my sister sent when her baby had suspected hip dysplasia?
The BEST IN THE BUSINESS, world renowned, The royal children's hospital. PUBLIC, no charge.
Do you want your kids to have a private room with a view and nice food or the best medical treatment?
The Alfred Hospital, (also known as The Alfred or Alfred Hospital) is a leading tertiary hospital in Melbourne, Victoria. It is the second oldest hospital in Victoria after Melbourne Hospital which is still operating on its original site.[2] The hospital is one of two major adult trauma centres in Victoria and houses the largest intensive care unit in Australia. In 2021 it was ranked as one of the world's best hospitals.[3]
The Alfred Hospital is a major teaching hospital affiliated with Monash University.[citation needed] Alfred Health manages The Alfred Hospital along with Caulfield Hospital and Sandringham Hospital.[4]
The Alfred Hospital in Melbourne is a public hospital. However, patients with private health insurance have the option to be treated as either public or private patients2. If you choose to be admitted as a private patient, the hospital can bill your health fund, but regardless of financial status, all patients receive the same quality of treatment and services.
The secret is knowing where your money goes, making sure you're not wasting money & budgeting properly. If you understand where your money goes, you can manage it much better.
We love our holidays so that motivates us to keep our budget on track - we have a separate holiday account, and, like everything else, holidays are part of our budget.
It's not easy, but it works. I'd first be checking your insurances to make sure you're not overpaying. Good luck!
So I earn 1/3 what you do, and my mortgage is slightly more expensive.
Print out your last 6 months of bank statements from every account you have.
Highlight different colours the following;
Debt
Auto transactions
Takeaways (food, coffee etc)
Non essential spending
Then from there, add up each category.
Now use the takeaways category to slowly pay off your debt.
Then use that money that’s then left over, to save.
It’s all about knowing where your cash goes and how to manage it :)
You earn 50k per year before tax (43 after) and pay more than the 32k per year in mortgage repayments that the OP does? After tax and your mortgage you would not have money for anything else. $211 per week doesn't cover rates, electricity, food, petrol, car rego, house insurance etc.
Love it!! Reality lol The comments about what people live on on here an absolute joke!
Why do they bullsh*t? Trying to be heroes and shame the op.
I would be going through your expenses and seeing what’s actually essential and what’s not.
As a single mum of 4 - no financial help from the ex, renting, all 4 kids do sports & we have 2 small holidays a year & I earn 80k a year, it’s possible.
I get my nails done, I could get my hair done every couple months if I wanted to also but I don’t.
How are you both not managing on that kind of income? You need to reasses your budgets . We have your income and are doing fine.
That's not helpful. Also, rates, utilities, cost of food... Pretty much every necessary expense varies from one part of Australia to another, so your similar incomes may look very different in terms of how much money is left to play with after the essentials.