I'm sick of my preteen step sons avoidance of house work.
I'm a full time step mum. Have been full time most of his life. Mum is not around.
When it comes to house work, I make a list. When it comes to the 2 living rooms, the kids roll a dice. Biggest number pick wich room.. same goes for bathroom. ( rubbish bin) and toilet (empty toilet rolls and bin) then then they clean their rooms. We do this big clean on Saturdays, and then we have Sundays to do whatever. The task should take no more then 20-30 mins as we do micro clean each day. I scrub out the kitchen, do washing, sort laundry, so I'm not sitting by while to do everything.
He will hide in the toilet, out side, or will do things so slowly some times I just give up. Today I told him he's not to touch his phone until it's done. His younger sister got her things done in 15minutes and it was done perfectly. She knows the quicker its done, the more time for pleasure. It's been 3hrs and he's still on the living room, that wasn't that messy to begin with. Like a couple of cans, food rappers stuffed in the sofa. Cups and plates...and I'm coping death looks like I'm some sort of slave driver.
I'm so over this. I don't know who to approach this. Dad is over it too.
5 Replies
Break up the tasks so they are easier to do, instead of a whole room just certain jobs from that room, like vaccuuming or picking up rubbish. Some kids get overwhelmed and that makes them work slower.
Go through the expectation with him, specifically, step by step, in simple terms. Teach him how to complete the tasks and how long it should take.
Give him a check list to work off as well, maybe visual cues would work better than written lists.
Ensure he understands and is capable of what you’re asking.
Then - HOLD HIM ACCOUNTABLE.
Eg.
— is what you need to do, it needs to be done by —, the consequence will be — if you choose not to do it.
You need to be consistent and stick with it though because he’s learnt that if he stuffs around enough, he gets out of it.
He wants to give you death glares all day - let him! You’re not running a popularity contest, you’re raising future adults.
Sounds like dad needs to lead by example and take more of a lead on this as well. Because apart from being “over it” what is he doing about it and how is he supporting you?
I’d also consider some new house rules as well because dishes being left out and rubbish laying about or being stuffed down the couch isn’t really acceptable, putting dishes in the sink and rubbish in the bin as you go is kind of bare minimum.
Sounds like it's regularly a dirty house. I'd be overwhelmed too. Dishes and rubbish left around including down the sofa cushions says it all.
Sounds like a regular teenagers/ school kids house actually.
I raised four teen boys. My house never was never this grotty.