Please Help !
I am pregnant and struggling with my mental health( anxiety, depression, ocd, intrusive thoughts ) and excepting this pregnancy (I don’t even want to look at my body)
I have two children already who I am very busy with as my partner works away a fair bit .
I am so worried I won’t love this baby as I know this is going to be such a struggle for me personally and challenge for our family . I was looking forward to going back to work as my youngest will be in school next year.
Has anyone been in a similar situation and come out the other side ok & loved their baby just like their other children. I am currently waiting to see a physiatrist & am seeing a counsellor weekly but I am not coping and don’t no how I will .
11 Replies
Please get a referral for someone who specialises in PND. There is now evidence to suggest this actually begins while pregnant and not just after birth.
If you find a good Psychologist now they will be able to support your right through, alongside your doctors.
Hugs xx
I am very early on - I was suffering before pregnancy , do you think there is still a chance it could be PND even being so early ? I’m feeling like I can’t go through with this but other options will destroy me.. lose lose situation for me a feel . Thank you for you reply
You are at greater risk for PND considering history and how you feel currently. It is a really good idea to have someone who works with you the whole way through and post birth. Your antenatal clinic should in theory be keeping an eye on you but I have found this is not always the case and they may just assume you are okay due to having a counsellor. I would go to an experienced Clinical (not Provisional) Psychologist and stick with them. Learn as many coping skills as you can now so that they become habit. I have been close to this experience. Having a support team around you is the best place to start 💗
I have been hit with constant road blocks.I have had to push to see a physiatrist asap. I’m so scared. I want to hear experiences of people making it through and everything being ok . I also don’t have any support so it scares me . Feeling very alone .
Do you really think you should go through with this pregnancy?
I mean, I know you said "other options will destroy me" - but would it be worse than actually being stuck with a baby you don't want?
Children feel resentment. They know when they weren't wanted - even if you try your hardest not to show it, and provide all the care a child needs - emotional neglect is still a real thing.
I had a termination young as I was in no position to have a baby. Yep it was hard, and yep I was sad about it, but having a baby would have ruined both our lives. It was 100% the right thing to do.
I actually don’t think I can mentally or physically cope & it’s breaking me. Do you cope ok with your decision now ? That would have been super hard .
Yep, no regrets. Sometimes I think "what if" - but honestly, I know my life now would be significantly different, for the worse.
As I said it was a sad decision to make, but it genuinely would have ruined my life and future. And if I had chosen to have it, then you're stuck forever. There's no undoing that decision.
Like you can have another child in a few years if you're ready and want to, but you can't dump one off later if you change your mind & don't want it after all.
I also have some mental health issues that are completely controlled, but I would never want to pass them on to a kid to have to deal with, and I'd have to stop the medication while pregnant, and that would literally send me insane. And then, would I ever be able to get it under control again? And to bring a baby in with an uncontrolled mentally ill mother...... awful.
So for me, there genuinely wasn't any question that I could keep it.
Sad yes, regrets no.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that . I am glad you have found some kind of peace. It’s not always black and white is it.
Personally I'd take the hit, rather than bring a child into the world and have them not feel as loved and wanted as they should be
My youngest was not planned and I was in a DV relationship at the time. She is the most amazing teen now and the most helpful. It was hard but I have never met anyone who wished that suprise baby away once it was here. I could not imagine my life without her.
We all make plans but life likes to get in the way sometimes lol. It may be that you still return to work but maybe it just looks different e.g. part time or involving childcare. OCD does cause some difficulties in flexible thinking, so something to talk about in therapy some more ;)
That all being said, you need to do what feels right for you and your family. There is no shame in putting your own mental health first and recognising what you can and cannot cope with. You need to be okay for your kids no matter what that means x
Thanks for the reply - did you suffer from mental health as well ? I don’t have much support at all so I’m really worried of how I’m going to cope either way.